Erin Merryn said this quote

“ I felt like I needed to comfort both the little girl inside me and my mother, assuring them that neither of them could have prevented the rape. I didn't want my mother to blame herself and I didn't want to blame the little girl inside of me for not speaking up at the age of six. ”

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If someone would have talked in school about safe touch and unsafe touch, I believe I would have spoken up as a child and not been victimized over and over again for years, but that day never came, which is why my mission now is to protect children from the childhood I could not be protected from.

~ Erin Merryn

Erin Merryn Child Abuse Child Abuse Prevention Child Sexual Abuse Childhood Sexual Abuse Education Revictimisation

Along with the trust issues, one of the hardest parts to deal with is the feeling of not being believed or supported, especially by your own grandparents and extended family. When I have been through so much pain and hurt and have to live with the scars every day, I get angry knowing that others think it is all made up or they brush it off because my cousin was a teenager. I was ten when I was first sexually abused by my cousin, and a majority of my relatives have taken the perpetrator's side. I have cried many times about everything and how my relatives gave no support or love to me as a kid when this all came out. Not one relative ever came up to that innocent little girl I was and said I am sorry for what you went through or I am here for you. Instead they said hurtful things: Oh he was young. That is what kids do. It is not like he was some older man you didn't know. Why does age make a difference? It is a sick way of thinking. Sexual abuse is sexual abuse. What is wrong with this picture? It brings tears to my eyes the way my relatives have reacted to this and cannot accept the truth. Denial is where they would rather stay.

~ Erin Merryn

Erin Merryn Abuse Survivor Child Rape Child Sexual Abuse Child Sexual Abuse Survivor Coping Denial Disbelief Disclosure Dysfunctional Families Dysfunctional Family Family Incest Issues Lack Of Support Minimization Molest Molestation Molested Pedophile Protectors Rape Sexual Abuse Society Denial Survivor Triggers Trust

As I faced each tragedy in my life, I learned to reach into the depth of my soul for strength and determination. Through this healing process, I discovered perseverance and resilience. I could not go into the past and use White-Out to erase any events; instead, I had to find a way to use my pain to help me heal and grow. I had to stare darkness in the face and accept that I could not change the past, but I could build a better future.

~ Erin Merryn

Erin Merryn Child Abuse Survivor Child Sexual Abuse Survivor Future Grow Hope Inspiration Pain Past Rape Trigger

When I felt as though I had reached land, it was like I was on a deserted sandy beach, feeling isolated and afraid to share with anyone the memories that haunted me.

~ Erin Merryn

Erin Merryn Child Abuse Child Abuse Survivor Depression Erin Merryn Isolation Self Harm Sexual Abuse Survivor Trigger Trigger Warning