Mary Crocker Cook said this quote

“ You can't let go. You can't detach with love. You can't let them hit bottom. You can't seem to implement the strategies you have learned when you are faced with your adult child's chaos and anxiety. When you try to do this, it makes you physically and emotionally ill, and the anxiety and fear becomes unbearable. ”

Famous Quotes of Mary Crocker Cook

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When we are anxiously attached, our inability to trust the intentions and behaviors of others will often lead us to escalate situations and then reject attempts to reassure us. It is a painful and dramatic spiral.

~ Mary Crocker Cook

Mary Crocker Cook Anxiety Codpendency Escalation Rejection Trust

Avoiding awareness of our own reality is often an attempt to deny thoughts, desires, or intentions that we feel will threaten or contradict the needs of those with whom we feel strong attachment. We instinctively hide feelings and thoughts we assume would be threatening to other people, and might cause them to leave us. . . People who learned early in life to adapt to parental needs to an extent that we were unable to focus on our own developmental tasks and needs will often continue to play out this working mode” of conditional attachment. “You will attach to me as long as I meet your needs.

~ Mary Crocker Cook

Mary Crocker Cook Attachment Awareness Codependency Intentions Parenting Trust

When our caregivers are unavailable, most of time it has nothing to do with LOVE for the child, however, the child cannot possibly know this. The child winds up believing that the unavailable parent is not available due to some defect within the child. We believe that if we were “enough” the parent would CHOOSE to be available.

~ Mary Crocker Cook

Mary Crocker Cook Attachment Being Chosen Loved Trust

With intimacy comes the possibility of “engulfment” or being taken hostage by the demands of others. We may have distorted perceptions of the “demands” and obligations placed upon us by those who claim to love us. Trusting that love to be unconditional is almost impossible for us, and we are always scanning for the unstated “subtext” or hidden “agenda” connected to this love.

~ Mary Crocker Cook

Mary Crocker Cook Agenda Codependency Engulfment Intimacy Trust