Olivia Sudjic said this quote

“ A neon-pink 3 flickered and instantly disappeared again into the dark. The sight of it on my own device now made me sick. I held my finger down on the menu screen; each little app logo began to vibrate. I deleted the 3. I contemplated deleting everything. Cleaning it all away. The idea had a charm, a self-cancellation, many little suicides, a way to dispatch myself without actually going anywhere. ”

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I went back to my room and spent all night contemplating whether it was possible in life not to be constantly let down. If it could ever be worth pinning your happiness to another person, when all other people ever seemed to do was disappear.

~ Olivia Sudjic

Olivia Sudjic Abandonment Disappointment Happiness Olivia Sudjic Relationships Sympathy

I became convinced that I was being watched.Because self was still leaking everywhere, a part of me began to think it was Mizuko rather than a stranger. I hoped that there might still be a reunion. I hoped it in the shy, sly way hope comes out of the jar, the mistranslated box, last—after everything and everyone else has escaped.

~ Olivia Sudjic

Olivia Sudjic Being Watched Hope Olivia Sudjic Pandora S Box Paranoid Reunion Reunited Self Sympathy

It never ceased to amaze me how she just had the facts always, in her head. It occured to me that if, or when, she died, a whole load of facts, a body of knowledge, might disappear without a trace.

~ Olivia Sudjic

Olivia Sudjic Death Elderly Knowledge Olivia Sudjic Sympathy

Or maybe it was already too late; you only get one first love. She was mine, but I had not been hers. She was only going to look for some echo of it, and if I had made the right noises, that echo might have been me for a while.

~ Olivia Sudjic

Olivia Sudjic First Love Love Olivia Sudjic Relationships Sympathy