Suzie Burke said this quote

“ Denial returned, like a nagging cough you can never quite shake. Actually, it was always close at hand, and even though satanic ritual abuse did describe what had happened to me when I was a child. the concept was so foreign and so horrific that some part of me still wanted to stay in denial.Devil worship dominated my childhood. That was undeniable, even if it was still nearly impossible to contemplate. Both of my parents and any number of their friends, as well as respected members of our community, had worshipped Satan.I pushed the notion aside with all the power I could muster. I kept thinking to myself that it was ridiculous and impossible.p157 ”

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That is the problem with repressed memory and dissociative identity disorder. Your mind represses certain traumas for reasons of pure survival. And then you learn that to survive as an adult, you must uncover the memories, find the parts, and relieve the traumas. The contradiction is almost too much for the mind to comprehend and for the heart and soul to endure.

~ Suzie Burke

Suzie Burke Abuse Dissociation Dissociative Dissociative Identity Disorder Endure Memories Mind Multiple Personality Multiplicity Personality Recovered Memory Repressed Memory Soul Trauma Traumatic

At cocktail parties, I played the part of a successful businessman's wife to perfection. I smiled, I made polite chit-chat, and I dressed the part. Denial and rationalization were two of my most effective tools in working my way through our social obligations. I believed that playing the roles of wife and mother were the least I could do to help support Tom's career.During the day, I was a puzzle with innumerable pieces. One piece made my family a nourishing breakfast. Another piece ferried the kids to school and to soccer practice. A third piece managed to trip to the grocery store. There was also a piece that wanted to sleep for eighteen hours a day and the piece that woke up shaking from yet another nightmare. And there was the piece that attended business functions and actually fooled people into thinking I might have something constructive to offer.I was a circus performer traversing the tightwire, and I could fall off into a vortex devoid of reality at any moment. There was, and had been for a very long time, an intense sense of despair. A self-deprecating voice inside told me I had no chance of getting better. I lived in an emotional black hole.p20-21, talking about dissociative identity disorder (formerly multiple personality disorder).

~ Suzie Burke

Suzie Burke Acting Black Hole Circus Denial Depression Despair Did Dissociative Identity Disorder Emotion Functioning Hopeless Hopelessness Mental Health Mental Illness Mpd Multiple Personality Disorder Parts Perfection Pieces Pretending Puzzle Rationalization Reality Social Social Anxiety

I am truly crazy, I told myself. It's over. I am not fixable. I cannot tell Tom. I cannot even tell Francisco. So I won't tell anyone. My brain seemed out of control. Tom does not deserve a crazy wife and my children do not deserve a crazy mother. I finally get it. This is not just repressed memory. This is dissociative identity disorder.

~ Suzie Burke

Suzie Burke Amnesia Crazy Diagnosis Dissociation Dissociative Dissociative Identity Disorder Memory Multiple Personality Multiple Personality Disorder Multiplicity Recovered Memory Repressed Memory Ritual Abuse Satanic Ritual Abuse

I honestly didn't believe I could bear any more suffering. I was convinced that the child within me was just too young to endure all this, much less understand it. She just wanted to be normal. But another part of me knew that to become normal, all the pieces of this puzzle had to become conscious.p164

~ Suzie Burke

Suzie Burke Awareness Consciousness Derealization Dissociation Dissociative Dissociative Identity Disorder Multiple Personality Multiplicity Personality Presence Ritual Abuse Satanic Ritual Abuse