Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
~ Ambrose Bierce
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
When you doubt, abstain.
Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.
Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
