People who work in offices are crazy, they create an environment they hate, write rules they want to break, cast each other in roles they despise. It’s like they’re sixth formers in an end of term drama acting out the agony of everything they fear most in their life but they forget to end the play.

~ Helen Smith

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He is intelligent enough to get a job that would earn him good money, but too clever to want one.

~ Helen Smith

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Perhaps our matching black outfits - even Phoebe wears dark colors - convince him that we are lesbian Buddhists

~ Helen Smith

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When I first learned to drive and I bought petrol I went to great lengths to trickle the final drops into the petrol tank so it cost a round amount of money like £10. Now I try and spend £19.87 or £20.04 or some other amount that I hope will disturb the cashier’s sense of neatness and uniformity.

~ Helen Smith

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