If Mother had to be told not to shove the entire brick of Ivory up Junior's hindquarters, constipation is the least of his problems.

~ James Lileks

James Lileks Constipation Parenting

If you can pick the baby up without him squirting our of your hands like a bar of soap in the shower, he's not oiled up enough.

~ James Lileks

James Lileks Oil Parenting

I still couldn't imagine that she was really, truly pregnant; maybe this was an hysterical pregnancy. But Sarah was never hysterical. Enthusiastic, yes, ironic on occasion. I couldn't imagine a doctor saying, No, it's just an ironic pregnancy.

~ James Lileks

James Lileks Hysterical Irony Pregnancy