Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

~ Tim Vine

Tim Vine Brother World People

Black beauty - he's a dark horse.

~ Tim Vine

Tim Vine Horse Dark Black

People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway.

~ Tim Vine

Tim Vine Childhood Effort Me

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

~ Tim Vine

Tim Vine Great World Me