Relationship Quotes Quotes

To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Flip your positivity switch:What is your first instinct? If you are quick to find fault, look for the negative, or complain about another person, knock it off! It makes you less fun to be around. When you feel those negative thoughts and judgments coming in, catch yourself and STOP!

~ Susan C. Young

To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Brag about their accomplishments in front of others:For years, I have shared that the definition of a good friend is someone who says nice things about you behind your back. And the definition of a GREAT friend is someone who says GREAT things to others in front of you. One of the kindest things a husband or wife can do for their relationships is to brag about their partner’s qualities to other people.

~ Susan C. Young

To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Focus on the Positives:Focusing on the positives will get you further in business and further in life. Whatever you focus on will expand. If you focus on what you do not like about another person, they will become so intolerable to you that you cannot bear to be around them. However, if you focus on their positives and can find something redeeming, regardless of how small, the positivity needed to experience a more constructive interaction and relationship will manifest before your eyes.

~ Susan C. Young

To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Be complimentary:Find something positive to say to compliment another person. Whether they are being a great parent, dressing nicely, maintaining a gorgeous yard, or winning a recent 5K run, pick something to acknowledge which is noteworthy.

~ Susan C. Young

To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Acknowledge their achievements:Great achievements require great effort and usually come dressed as hard work. Move beyond merely recognizing the achievement and express admiration for the effort it took to get there.

~ Susan C. Young

All compliments are not created equal. Some may change the trajectory of a person’s life, while others fall on deaf ears. Is it well deserved or earned? People will remember you fondly when you have affirmed them in a positive way. Paying compliments creates good will, happy moments, and makes you more likable in return.

~ Susan C. Young

What are the key elements for a fabulous, well-delivered compliment? You . . .• are sincere and genuine.• give it freely without expecting anything in return. Your compliment is a selfless gift, not a boomerang.• are specific and detailed.• elaborate on why you like something.• describe how their positive virtue has positively impacted you.• can use adjectives for more colorful descriptions.• keep it positive.• say it like you mean it with intentional impact.• use discretion and good judgment.• leave no room for misinterpretation or misunderstanding.• say the right thing at the right moment and let it flow organically.Finding sincere ways to compliment others is a powerful way to make a great first and last impression.

~ Susan C. Young

UN-Impressive ‘Compliments’ . . .• When compliments are used as a passive-aggressive way to manipulate others for personal gain.• Delivering a back-handed compliment which makes others feel bad.• Dishonesty—you say it but really do not mean it.• False bravado.• Manufacturing the moment for your ulterior motives.• Pandering to win affection, a vote, or approval.• Exaggerating and being over-zealous.• Being hypocritical.• Expressing preferential treatment or making an unfair comparison.• When it draws attention to a person’s weakness, disabilities, or shortcomings.• When it is inappropriate and off-color.

~ Susan C. Young

Graciously Accepting a Compliment. How many times have you offered someone a sincere compliment only to have it thrown back in your face as if your assessment were wrong? How did you feel? Women are notorious for this social misstep and poor maneuver. Why do they do it? Rejecting a compliment makes the compliment-giver feel as though they should have said nothing.

~ Susan C. Young

Refusing someone’s kind words can cause the one doing the complimenting to feel bad. Not only might they regret trying to be nice, but you may have cut off your chances of being complimented by them ever again. Being humble is one thing; being rude is another. Practice receiving compliments with grace, dignity, appreciation, and gratitude. The perfect response to a fine compliment is simply, “Thank you!

~ Susan C. Young

Why Polish the Gold?• It builds your confidence when you realize that your words have power and can positively influence. • As you seek to find the good in others, you will enjoy the ripple effect reminder for finding the good in yourself.• It makes a great ice-breaker to begin a conversation.• It helps you meet new people and make new friends.• It strengthens your relationships and builds mutual admiration.• It brings more happiness and joy into your life.• A little praise goes a long way to make others happy.

~ Susan C. Young

Service [sur-vis] noun1. the act of helping, aiding, or doing work for another.“Does this dictionary definition sound simplistic? Well, it is foundational to delivering world-class, game-changing service. Did you notice it didn’t mention you? True service takes the focus completely off you and devotes it entirely to the needs of another person.

~ Susan C. Young

As you read in The Art of Being, having a heart of service and generosity is a powerful state of being and a positive way to make a great first impression through valuing others. Service Beyond Self encourages you to take deliberate action steps to rise above self-interest and ask what you can do for others, not what they can do for you.

~ Susan C. Young

Where my previous motivation had been a self-serving ambition, my new service mindset was dedicated to serving a vision greater than myself. Within a year, I quadrupled my income, and then I doubled it every year thereafter. This service mindset quickly taught me that by helping others achieve their goals, I could more easily achieve my own.

~ Susan C. Young

The Service Mindset. When I began my real estate career at the age of twenty-two, I had a fresh Bachelor’s Degree in Marketing in one hand and ‘a tiger by the tail’ in the other. I was on a mission to be successful in life and in business and make a lot of money in the process. Every goal I set was about Me. Me. Me! I was driven by: How much money could I make? Which property listings paid the biggest commissions? How many calls did I need to make to schedule new appointments? How many listings did I need to have to hit my target? You can see where I am going with this! Working full-time, nights and weekends, seven days a week, I only made eleven thousand dollars in the first year! I was tired, disillusioned, and knew that I had to either change careers or massively shift my mindset.I chose the latter. I took ALL focus off me and re-directed my time, energy, and resources to serving my clients. Their hopes, needs, and desires became my primary focus. How could I help solve their problems?

~ Susan C. Young

The Service Mindset. When I began my real estate career at the age of twenty-two, I had a fresh Bachelor’s Degree in Marketing in one hand and ‘a tiger by the tail’ in the other. I was on a mission to be successful in life and in business and make a lot of money in the process. Every goal I set was about Me. Me. Me! I was driven by: How much money could I make? Which property listings paid the biggest commissions? How many calls did I need to make to schedule new appointments? How many listings did I need to have to hit my target? You can see where I am going with this! Working full-time, nights and weekends, seven days a week, I only made eleven thousand dollars in the first year! I was tired, disillusioned, and knew that I had to either change careers or massively shift my mindset.I chose the latter. I took ALL focus off me and re-directed my time, energy, and resources to serving my clients. Their hopes, needs, and desires became my primary focus. How could I help solve their problems? And then EVERYTHING began to turn around . . .

~ Susan C. Young

What is the motive behind your services? If it is self-centered, self-serving, and lacking consideration for others, then earning people’s trust, rapport, and business will inevitably be more of a struggle. A self-serving agenda throws up red flags which stop relationships dead in their tracks. It can destroy trust, make people wary of your intentions, and push customers to your competition.

~ Susan C. Young

Service Beyond Self is Essential for Success Because It . . .• Builds credibility, trust, and customer satisfaction.• Strengthens your personal reputation and public image.• Fosters goodwill and makes people feel appreciated.• Helps you build healthy relationships with others.• Nurtures collaboration, participation, and cooperation.• Reaffirms a continuity of service for quality assurance, integrity, and reliability. • Saves money—it costs less to keep existing customers than it does to create new ones. When you do it right the first time, you don’t have to fix it the next time.• Improves communication and builds rapport.• Fosters mutual respect and understanding• By providing other people with what they want, you will get more of what you want!

~ Susan C. Young

To Move from Woe to Wow . . . Listen Attentively• Be fully present and give your customer your full attention.• Stay calm and remain patient.• Do not interrupt or become defensive.• Let the customer express his or her concerns.• Nod your head and use affirming words to show that you are listening.• Repeat back and empathize, when necessary. This confirms your understanding of the problem or question.

~ Susan C. Young

To cultivate bravery and courage, reduce uncertainty by being prepared. As Zig Ziglar once said, “Success happens when opportunity meets preparation.” Preparing well for potential outcomes will provide you with a safety net if there is a hiccup, glitch, or temporary setback.

~ Susan C. Young

To cultivate bravery and courage, practice, practice, practice. Each time you test your bravery you grow your self-assurance and increase your comfort to a greater degree. Repetition helps build confidence and competence. You did it; now do it again!

~ Susan C. Young

To cultivate bravery and courage, Do It Scared. Being scared is a precursor to bravery, otherwise, it wouldn’t be bravery, would it? Mustering the courage to stretch beyond your familiar territory is a rewarding act in itself.

~ Susan C. Young

To cultivate bravery and courage, may the Force be with you. Whether you fortify yourself with a positive mental attitude, affirmations, faith in God, prayer, and meditation, or an innate sense of personal destiny, you have the power to summon your courage and be brave. “Make it so, Number One!

~ Susan C. Young

And as is often the case, the people who would benefit the most from reading a book like this are the ones least likely to buy and read it. For you, however, this chapter will serve as a sterling reminder to make your manners shine.

~ Susan C. Young

You already know the difference between being a gracious person versus a rude one.

~ Susan C. Young

Impeccable manners and courteous behavior are the hallmarks for healthy relations and human interaction.

~ Susan C. Young

Polite people tend to be more respected, admired, and appreciated than their rude counterparts.

~ Susan C. Young

Your manners are critical for both making a positive first impression and creating success in life, love, and business.

~ Susan C. Young

Without civilized social graces, not only is life more difficult, but a positive first impression can be destroyed as fast as it is made.

~ Susan C. Young

While good old-fashioned manners and etiquette have worked for centuries, new standards and expectations have come into play with the modern world. Behaviors which would have been appalling in the past are now socially acceptable.

~ Susan C. Young

Regardless of the trends we see in the deterioration of morality, respect, and values, wise people will still strive to take the high road to rise above the ever-increasing rudeness and stand apart from the crowd.

~ Susan C. Young

I remember hearing years ago about a centenarian being interviewed on her birthday. She was asked, “Throughout your life, you have witnessed amazing change and innovation. The past one-hundred years have brought the inventions of the car, television, air conditioning, and microwave ovens. What is the most extraordinary change you have seen in your lifetime?” Without missing a beat, she replied, “That a teenager can say “suck” in front of their parents and get away with it!” While cultural norms may have changed with the times, being considerate of fellow human beings is not an antiquated notion; its time hasn't ended. Quite the opposite is true. In our world today, kindness and politeness are needed more than ever.

~ Susan C. Young

The elegance of etiquette is a timeless expression of class which transcends social status, demographics, educational level, and ethnicity. Good manners say more about you than the person who is on the receiving end.

~ Susan C. Young

Take the initiative with deliberate steps to be a polite person:1. Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze.2. Reciprocate a thoughtful word or a good deed in kind.3. Say excuse me when you bump into someone, unintentionally violate someone’s space, or need to get someone’s attention.4. Apologize when you’ve made a mistake or are in the wrong.5. Live by the Golden Rule and treat others the way you would like to be treated.6. When dining at home or in a restaurant, wait until everyone is served before eating your meal.7. Acknowledge notable events like birthdays, weddings, and anniversaries.

~ Susan C. Young

Take the initiative with deliberate steps to be a polite person:1. Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze.2. Reciprocate a thoughtful word or a good deed in kind.3. Say excuse me when you bump into someone, unintentionally violate someone’s space, or need to get someone’s attention.4. Apologize when you’ve made a mistake or are in the wrong.5. Live by the Golden Rule and treat others the way you would like to be treated.6. When dining at home or in a restaurant, wait until everyone is served before eating your meal.7. Acknowledge notable events like birthdays, weddings, and anniversaries.8. Reply to invitations, regardless of whether you will be able to attend. 9. Acknowledge and show gratitude for gifts and gestures of hospitality.10. Put things back where they belong. Leave the world a better place than how you found it.

~ Susan C. Young

All manners are not created equal and can conjure different interpretations based on the environment in which they are being displayed.

~ Susan C. Young

What is appropriate in one setting may be entirely inappropriate in another. How you behave at a football game is different than how you behave at your sister’s wedding. How you interact with your closest friends will be different than how you engage with your boss.

~ Susan C. Young

For more than forty years, Judith Martin has inspired the world with advice on etiquette excellence, proper behavior, and codes of conduct through her critically acclaimed newspaper column, “Miss Manners.” In an interview for her book, Miss Manners Minds Your Business, Mrs. Martin reminds us that “When you go to work, you want a degree of professionalism which does not involve hearing about all of the sordid details of a person’s love life. We are not necessarily all friends, but have a job that needs to be done. A work friend is not always a social friend. One requires distance while the other embraces intimacy.

~ Susan C. Young

As our society has become more casual, the line between a person’s personal life and professional life has become blurred, especially with the advent of social media. Personal information, your manners (or lack thereof), opinions, and pictures of your private life are available for all the world to see. HR directors, recruiters, and potential employers will often ascertain a person’s manners and moral compass from their online presence.

~ Susan C. Young

ASK YOURSELF: Are you presenting yourself in the best of all lights, online and off, and demonstrating the dignity of good manners? Make sure of it! If not, it may come back to haunt you.

~ Susan C. Young