Relationship Quotes Quotes

Considerations & Exceptions for Impressive Handshakes• Be mindful of a person’s age; be tender with arthritic hands. In that case, a loose and gentler handshake is a gesture of sensitivity and compassion.• Show interest; even if your right hand is full, offer your left hand. • Demonstrate respect when you are caught in an introduction while seated; try to stand. • Be instinctive about when to allow the length of your handshake to linger to express unity, connection, or sympathy.

~ Susan C. Young

All hugs are not created equal. Some people are naturally gifted in showering others with warmth and affection. They can hug with such a sincere intention it transcends a handshake. Their hugs feel genuine, non-threatening, and are emotionally consistent with the relationship they share with the hugee.

~ Susan C. Young

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~ Susan C. Young

Brian is a deeply compassionate man who was sad to learn that his work colleague, Tom, had lost his 17-year-old daughter to a drug overdose. When Tom returned to work weeks later, Brian approached him and said, “Man, I am so sorry. There are no words to express my condolences.“Brian reached out to hug Tom. At first, he was rigid and on guard, but with Brian’s genuine embrace, he felt Tom release into his safety. Tom had been so incredibly strong for his wife and family that Brian’s powerful hug allowed him to surrender into another man’s strength. It was a memorable and powerful step towards healing. Sometimes a hug at the right time, even if spontaneous, can be the kindest thing you can do for another human being.

~ Susan C. Young

Hugging is quite an intimate contact. Considering the studies done on proxemics we looked at earlier; when you get within two feet of another person you are inside their intimate space. There are some people who truly do not want you in their 'bubble' unless you are close friends or they’ve given you permission. Assuming familiarity incorrectly can destroy rapport, make a bad impression, and risk everything you have done well up to then.

~ Susan C. Young

Look for all of the possible missteps in the following scenario. My friend Amy arrived at a consultation with her Hispanic business partner. The African American woman to whom they were delivering their presentation was a long-time friend of her partner’s. Her partner was greeted with a hug and Amy was greeted with a handshake. The meeting was a great success.As it came to a close, the two friends hugged. With enthusiastic affection, Amy went to hug the African American client. The woman took a step, turned her shoulder to block the hug, and looked at Amy with dismissive anger. It was almost a defensive move. Her partner, recognizing this, put her arm around Amy to soften the situation and make light of the inappropriate gesture. Everything turned out fine, but Amy was baffled by the barrier. She was confused by the woman’s reaction since their interaction had been cordial and positive. She wondered if she had been socially insensitive or culturally inappropriate. After much reflection, however, she realized that she had simply been too quick to assume familiarity. Thankfully, she earned and learned the lesson quickly to become more aware. Amy eventually earned the trust of her client and secured her valuable business.

~ Susan C. Young

Physical touch is one of my primary love languages. For those of us who share this love language, touching is an endearing gesture of affection, appreciation, and connection. It is not intended to be inappropriate in any way when we hug you upon meeting, pat your back, or squeeze your arm. For us, it is an enthusiastic demonstration of friendship. However, there are many people who do NOT like to be touched—men or women. In spite of our good intentions, touching can make others feel awkward, offended, and in the worst-case scenario, violated. It is crucial to be vigilant and socially aware enough that you can read people’s cues to know when to pull back and contain yourself.

~ Susan C. Young

Confession. Years ago, I was invited to a cocktail party for an Asian-American networking group. As I introduced myself to a Japanese businessman, I reached out and firmly shook his hand. Much to my embarrassment now, I automatically took my other hand and wrapped our hands in a “hand hug.” This is a common gesture of friendship in the South. As his wife approached, however, she appeared appalled and felt disrespected that I was touching her husband. Our cultural differences were marked. Despite this cultural mishap, I was able to redeem myself. We all moved past it and delighted in an interesting conversation. Physical touch is a touchy topic (pun intended), especially when various cultures are involved.

~ Susan C. Young

Seek to make others feel comfortable by demonstrating respect for their individual needs as well as their cultural norms. Your consideration and heightened awareness will guide you well—and help you make a great first impression.

~ Susan C. Young

Approachability. Being warm and inviting demonstrates comfort, care, and emotional safety all of which encourages engagement. Your openness says, “I’m happy to meet you and am glad you’re here.

~ Susan C. Young

Handshakes, Hugs & Other Touching. Learning how to touch appropriately can elevate your presentation, demonstrate respect, and convey confidence.

~ Susan C. Young

Orientation & Proximity. Be aware of the orientation between yourself and others so that you can be sensitive and responsive to their comfort zones.

~ Susan C. Young

Smiling and Expressions of Emotion. A genuine smile is inviting, contagious, and encouraging. People do read a book by its cover and your expressions provide a glimpse for what they’ll find inside.

~ Susan C. Young

Eye Contact. Direct eye contact is one of the best compliments you can give to another. You are subliminally telling them that you are listening, they matter, and that what they have to say is important.

~ Susan C. Young

Energy & Aura. You release your own distinctive energy signature which naturally produces a physical presence. When you emit positive energy, thoughts, feelings, and vibrations, you attract more positives into your life.

~ Susan C. Young

Life rewards action. To get from where you are now to where you want to be requires forward movement and momentum. Although you may already know what it takes to bridge the gap, simply knowing what to do is not enough.

~ Susan C. Young

Action is the key to creating the changes needed to propel you toward your chosen outcomes and help you achieve your relationship goals. How are you allocating your time, energy, and activities to ‘activate your awesome’ and contribute to making a positive first impression?

~ Susan C. Young

The Art of Action explores specific action steps you can take for personal and professional transformation. Start by taking the initiative to be kind, courageous, and polite.

~ Susan C. Young

Become a ‘good finder’ and seek to acknowledge the best you see in others.

~ Susan C. Young

Move beyond yourself to serve a greater purpose and vision. Learn to mix, mingle, and glow, thus helping others feel more comfortable, at ease, important, and connected.

~ Susan C. Young

By being fully present and engaged you will maximize your moments to make every encounter count.

~ Susan C. Young

Being proactive and intentional will enable you to create a positive experience for yourself and others.

~ Susan C. Young

Nice is a little word with a big meaning. How many times did your mother say, Just be nice? It's basic manners, yet in our negative world today people often neglect to extend random acts of kindness and simple acts of courtesy.

~ Susan C. Young

It is no mystery why nice people are well-liked and get along harmoniously with others. Being nice makes people feel emotionally safe, allowing for more authentic, trusting, and happy interactions.

~ Susan C. Young

Benefits of Being Nice • You set positive karma into motion.• What you give is what you get back in return.• You are more likable.• People will treat you better.• You will reduce personal stress.• You will make friends more easily.• You can improve someone else’s day.• You will have less drama in your life.• It takes less energy than being otherwise.• It makes you a more valuable team player.• You create a sense of emotional safety for others.• It can keep you physically and psychologically safe.• You set a positive example for others to play nicely.• You will build bridges of cooperation and collaboration.• You will improve personal and professional interactions• Lastly, being nice feels nice!

~ Susan C. Young

In the hit movie, “Pay It Forward,” a middle school child dreams of how he can change the world by being the catalyst for kindness. He begins his “social experiment” by performing a selfless act of kindness, and so begins the domino effect. As each consecutive person receives an act of kindness they, in turn, do something nice for another. The kindness becomes contagious and changes hundreds of lives for the better. Think of the global impact we could make if more people would make it their mission to simply pay if forward by BEING NICE.

~ Susan C. Young

ASK YOURSELF: Have you found that being nice to some people is simply not effective? When might it be wise to throw down the gauntlet and get tough or confrontational?

~ Susan C. Young

What Does Poor Posture Look Like?• Stiff & rigid• Slumping • Slouching• Hunched over• Rounded shoulders• Overly arched back• Stumbling• Head forwardIn sensitivity, we must be aware that many people suffer from poor posture because of physical disability, injury, health issues, heredity, obesity, or musculoskeletal construction. These descriptions are not meant to offend or judge people who are unable to change their posture.

~ Susan C. Young

Exaggerating Your Gestures“Have you ever walked through a door and been jumped on by an over-enthusiastic dog with big paws who practically knocked you down? Some people have that effect. Being too flamboyant and over-boisterous can be overkill and push people away. Drama queens and kings have mastered these exaggerations, much to the chagrin of their observers. Remaining intentional in your gestures is a mark of poise, elegance, and maturity.

~ Susan C. Young

Ask any person trained in sign language and they will confirm the fact that you can talk with your hands. Your hand gestures communicate for you and are an integral part of your language. While some people may come by hand gestures naturally, you can learn to be even more expressive to get your points across—and to be memorable.

~ Susan C. Young

We must remember that some hand gestures which are commonly used and widely accepted in the U.S. might be considered rude or offensive in other countries. As always, I encourage you to be mindful of how and where you use certain gestures to assure you maintain your professionalism and positive impressions.

~ Susan C. Young

A smart way of using your hands to make you look more interesting, thoughtful, and self-assured is to steeple your hands and fingers. Try using it strategically in formal environments or workplaces to show confidence and consideration.

~ Susan C. Young

Gestures and the Signals They Send• Rubbing your face, palms, and neck may signify anxiety and stress.• Arms crossed with clenched fists may signify hostility, anger, and impatience.• Arms crossed with each hand gripping other arm may signify insecurity and self-doubt.• Arms crossed with thumbs up may signify interest and engagement.• Or my favorite—arms crossed may signify that you are simply cold!• Fidgeting and squirming may signify that you are lying, afraid of being found out, insecure, or uncomfortable.• Standing with your hands behind your back may signify power and superiority.

~ Susan C. Young

In his book, How to Win Friends & Influence People, Dale Carnegie encourages you to greet people with animation and enthusiasm. This form of kinesthetic responsiveness provides a splendid example of how impactful your gestures can be while responding to others. Whether it be running up to an old friend you have not seen in a while or standing up to greet a business associate when he approaches your table, being kinesthetically responsive is an impactful way to gesture your level of interest, engagement, and enthusiasm.

~ Susan C. Young

In her book, Ask Outrageously! my friend Linda Swindling suggests to “Mimic the body language of the most powerful people you know. They stand up straight, make appropriate eye contact, and use gestures to convey their points. Look at their feet. Usually they are placed about shoulder-width apart. They have an open stance. They smile and nod when they agree.”Begin paying attention to the poise, postures, and gestures of the people whom you admire and respect the most. How do they carry themselves to project excellence? Adapting their behaviors may serve you well to enhance and improve your body language.

~ Susan C. Young

As a professional speaker, Susanne travels all over the country and practically lives on airplanes. One day as she entered security to board yet another flight, she was struck by the poise, posture, and gestures of the man in front of her in line. As a communications expert, she observed his excellent presentation with appreciation and awe.The gentleman was dressed impeccably in a crisp white shirt and well-fitted suit and he sported a new haircut. She watched him as he removed his flawless leather belt, his gold money clip, and well-polished shoes. (And of course, he had Listerine in a baggie to ensure fresh breath!) The care with which he dismantled was impressive. His poised and fluid movements were deliberate and respectful of his personal possessions. As he regrouped and proceeded down the concourse, she was struck by how his stance and carriage intrigued and impressed her. His projection of elegance created a presence of pride and dignity. He left a remarkable impression.

~ Susan C. Young

Social orientation can be used to your advantage to make a great first impression; however, it can also backfire when we violate the boundaries of someone else’s personal space. Awareness of space, orientation, and proximity is a powerful tool for your relationship toolbox.

~ Susan C. Young

Become aware of the physical distance and spatial orientation that you experience while in the company of others. Being empathetic and sensitive to a person’s physical comfort zone can have a huge effect on the way in which you are received and perceived.

~ Susan C. Young

I have a few friends who are confined to wheelchairs for access and mobility. I don't want to always be looking down at them while they are looking up at me. To enjoy a meaningful conversation, I’m quick to kneel beside them or pull up a chair to talk at the same height. Begin to recognize the orientation of other people and align yourself with their body position and physical needs so that you may connect on a more balanced and effective level.

~ Susan C. Young

The Warm Welcome of Hospitality. Walt Disney World is the epitome of world-class customer service. Employees must be hyper-vigilant of spatial orientation to engage, impress, and interact with guests. For simply being near a guest, employees are trained to:• Make eye contact and smile.• Greet and welcome each and every guest.• Seek out guest contact.• Provide immediate service recovery.• Always display appropriate body language.• Preserve the “magical” guest experience.• Thank each guest and demonstrate that appreciation.

~ Susan C. Young