Andrew Kaufman said this quote

“ We’re here,’ the Clock says.The Perfectionist opens her eyes. She sees nothing. It’s white. All white. There’s no up. There’s no down. No horizon. Nothing. It’s just white.‘Clock, what is this?’ asks the Perfectionist. Her voice is shaky.‘This is the future.’‘This is the future?’ the Perfectionist asks. Her mouth is dry. She forces herself to swallow.‘Why is the future like this?’‘Because it hasn’t happened yet,’ says the Clock ”

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The Perfectionist pushed Tom onto her bed. She took off his shirt. She took off his shoes and his socks. She took off his pants. She took off his boxers.With most guys the Perfectionist would stop there. She didn’t. She was still feeling reckless. She took off his skin. She took off his nervous system. She lifted up his rib cage. His heart beat in her hand. And there, underneath it, she found a rusted tin box. She opened it. Inside she found his hopes, his dreams and his fears. She stared at them. She was surprised to find them there and surprised at how beautiful they were. At that exact moment, the Perfectionist fell in love with Tom.

~ Andrew Kaufman

She said, “Only the weak are afraid to appear so.

~ Andrew Kaufman

Okay, there's this thing you can do, a thing you can do like no other person on this planet. That makes you special, but being special really doesn't mean anything. You still have to get dressed in the morning. Your shoelaces still break. Your lover will still leave you if you don't treat her right

~ Andrew Kaufman

Why do bad things happen to good people?''Because it makes a good story.

~ Andrew Kaufman