Andrew Kaufman Quotes

The Perfectionist pushed Tom onto her bed. She took off his shirt. She took off his shoes and his socks. She took off his pants. She took off his boxers.With most guys the Perfectionist would stop there. She didn’t. She was still feeling reckless. She took off his skin. She took off his nervous system. She lifted up his rib cage. His heart beat in her hand. And there, underneath it, she found a rusted tin box. She opened it. Inside she found his hopes, his dreams and his fears. She stared at them. She was surprised to find them there and surprised at how beautiful they were. At that exact moment, the Perfectionist fell in love with Tom.

~ Andrew Kaufman

She said, “Only the weak are afraid to appear so.

~ Andrew Kaufman

We’re here,’ the Clock says.The Perfectionist opens her eyes. She sees nothing. It’s white. All white. There’s no up. There’s no down. No horizon. Nothing. It’s just white.‘Clock, what is this?’ asks the Perfectionist. Her voice is shaky.‘This is the future.’‘This is the future?’ the Perfectionist asks. Her mouth is dry. She forces herself to swallow.‘Why is the future like this?’‘Because it hasn’t happened yet,’ says the Clock

~ Andrew Kaufman

Okay, there's this thing you can do, a thing you can do like no other person on this planet. That makes you special, but being special really doesn't mean anything. You still have to get dressed in the morning. Your shoelaces still break. Your lover will still leave you if you don't treat her right

~ Andrew Kaufman

Why do bad things happen to good people?''Because it makes a good story.

~ Andrew Kaufman

Remember that the truth within yourself will always be greater than the truth found in these pages. These stories are here to guide us—to help us find that truth, not to tell us what it is.

~ Andrew Kaufman

He knocks on doors and stands there. You’d be surprised how few doors get answered

~ Andrew Kaufman

the code of a world he'd never been invited to join.

~ Andrew Kaufman

You know, you're very strong Nicola said.Thank you.That's no compliment. It's your weakness. If you weren't so strong you wouldn't have to take it and so you wouldn't.

~ Andrew Kaufman

I don't remember a single monster before I met you.' he'd told Amphibian. 'Now they seem to be all over the place.''You mean there wasn't anything you were afraid of?' the Amphibian had asked him.'lots.''What did they look like?'It was a funny question.'They didn't look like anything. They were ideas,' Tom told him. 'Like not being able to pay rent, or being lonely.''That's the most terrifying thing I've ever heard.' the Amphibian replied.

~ Andrew Kaufman