Antonella Gambotto-Burke said this quote

“ Marriage is never static. There are peaks and troughs, cycles. It is easy to forget that this shifting landscape is really only ever a reflection of the self. Our capacity for attachment determines the kind of mate we attract, and it is through this mate that we are forever transformed – marriage as alchemy, but also as a mirror. ”

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Sometimes I hear the world discussed as the realm of men. This is not my experience. I have watched men fall to the ground like leaves. They were swept up as memories, and burned. History owns them. These men were petrified in both senses of the word: paralyzed and turned to stone. Their refusal to express feeling killed them. Anachronistic men. Those poor, poor boys.

~ Antonella Gambotto-Burke

Antonella Gambotto-Burke Anachronism Boys Death Emotion Gender History Loss Masculinity Men Suicide

The self-esteem of western women is founded on physical being (body mass index, youth, beauty). This creates a tricky emphasis on image, but the internalized locus of self-worth saves lives. Western men are very different. In externalizing the source of their self-esteem, they surrender all emotional independence. (Conquest requires two parties, after all.) A man cannot feel like a man without a partner, corporation, team. Manhood is a game played on the terrain of opposites. It thus follows that male sense of self disintegrates when the Other is absent.

~ Antonella Gambotto-Burke

Antonella Gambotto-Burke Body Image Boys Center Centre Conquest Femininity Gender Gender Roles Gender Stereotypes Girls Inward Focus Masculinity Men Self Esteem Sense Of Self Women

My generation was, in effect, the product of a social experiment. If we did not understand marital intimacy, it was because we had not seen it modelled. We lurched from relationship to relationship, dazzled by the newness of meaninglessness, relentless in our search for something even the most perceptive of us could not identify.

~ Antonella Gambotto-Burke

Antonella Gambotto-Burke Intimacy Love Marriage Relationships Sex

Strauss admits to being obsessed by his mother's rejection, and with the resultant rents in self-esteem. The Game echoes with disturbingly abusive comments leveled at his adolescent self, a self he feels was unacceptable. With bravado, he expresses regret that he didn’t rack up more sexual conquests in his teens; in person, he expresses a truer regret that he was intimidated by life itself.

~ Antonella Gambotto-Burke

Antonella Gambotto-Burke Masculine Bravado Masculinity Neil Strauss Pick Up Artists Promiscuity Puas Sex The Game