“ How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. ”
I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.
~ Emo Philips
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
