“ Values are sometimes worth living and dying for, and are certainly worth dating and breaking up over. ”
You aren't alive if you aren't in need.
~ Henry Cloud
This is one of the marks of a truly safe person: they are confrontable.
Defensive devaluation is a protective device that makes love bad, trust unimportant and people no darn good any way. People who have been deeply hurt in their relationships will often devalue love so it doesn't hurt so much. And they often become resigned to never loving again.
Freedom comes from taking responsibility, bondage comes from giving it away.