“ My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. ”
Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.
~ Mitch Hedberg
I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
