Live like you want, not how others want you to live.
~ Anonymous
A man has no more right to an opinion for which he cannot account than for a glass of beer for which he cannot pay.
Tick. Tick. Tick. This is the sound of your life running out.
She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.
He sleeps for himself and dreams for others.
The souls of men are not measured by what they have done, but by what they leave behind.
Bugs Bunny - the perfect employee. Never absent. Never late. Never changes the script. Doesn't have an agent. Never asks for a percent of the profit. Doesn't ask to have his relatives on the payroll.
Whilst Adam slept Eve from his side arose Strange his first sleep would be his last repose.
Age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill.
Wrinkles - the service stripes of life.
Middle age is when you have a choice of two temptations and choose the one that will get you home earlier.
The United States was born in the country and moved to the city in the nineteenth century.
We must act in spite of fear ... not because of it.
There is a difference between a psychopath and a neurotic. A psychopath thinks two and two are five. A neurotic knows that two and two are four but he worries about it.
She's not pushing forty she's dragging it.
The age of some women is like the speedometer on a used car - you know it's set back but you don't know how far.
Pushing fifty is exercise enough.
When I think of my dad as a little boy I tend to think of him in black and white.
She's too young for Medicare and too old for me to care.
When she told me her age I believed her - why not? she hasn't changed her story for five years.
Life begins at fifty but so does bad eyesight arthritis and the habit of telling the same story three times to the same listeners.
When Julia Child was asked to what she credited her longevity she replied Red meat and gin.
Once my wife gave me a wonderful birthday present. She let me win an argument.
When we're young we want to change the world. When we're old we want to change the young.
Remember when we used to laugh at old people when we were young? Do you recall what was so funny?
I wouldn't say someone is old just because his social security is in Roman numerals or because Mozart played at his senior prom.
If you think a lot of the comments made tonight are not funny but are immature and tasteless that's only because the sense of humor is the first thing to go.
I was going to take you out to lunch for your birthday . . . but you already are.
Combine common sense and the Golden Rule and you will have very little bad luck.
Book lovers never go to bed alone.
Boredom is a sickness of the soul.
Who buys has need of two eyes But one's enough to sell the stuff.
A fair price for oil is whatever you can get plus ten to twenty per cent.
What costs nothing is worth nothing.
Canada is so square even the female impersonators are women.
If a player continues transgressing the rules his side shall lose him.
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.
Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it the tree is the real thing.
The trouble with all these other countries is they're all being run by foreigners.
The people of Seattle deny they get much rain while the rest of the country thinks of it as America's bladder.
