Hope says to us constantly go on go on and leads us to the grave.
~ Anonymous
It is with enterprises as with striking fire we do not meet with success except with reiterated efforts and often at the instant when we despaired of success.
He conquers who endures.
The most important thing in our lives is what we are doing now.
Time cannot be expanded accumulated mortgaged hastened or retarded.
Time stays long enough for anyone who will use it.
One day of pleasure is worth two of sorrow.
What you are afraid to do is a clear indicator of the next thing you need to do.
The great business of life is to be to do to do without and to depart.
Do all the good you can By all the means you can In all the ways you can In all the places you can At all the times you can.
Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.
Unless each day can be looked back upon by an individual as one in which he has had some fun some joy some real satisfaction that day is a loss.
A day is a span of time no one is wealthy enough to waste.
Time is the arbitrary division of eternity.
An hour of pain is as long as a day of pleasure.
Time is the tyrant of the body.
Time is the dressing room for eternity.
As my mother used to say: Mimic a duck act calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like crazy underneath.
Some people might say that I think too highly of you just because I worship the water you walk on.
An evening like this would be empty without some reference to [politics] so let's just think of this as empty.
I was chosen to speak due to my warm personality. . . . Look up warm and it means not so hot.
A speech that's full of sparkling wit will keep its hearer grinning provided its end is close to its beginning.
The recipe for a good speech includes some shortening.
We noticed a crasher at the bar - that shows what a real man he is - he's here to show he's not ticked for not being asked.
Response to clapping: Thank you for ovating.
When I told her we were going to roast her she said Of course . . . they only crucify the innocent.
As one skeleton said to the other - if I had any guts I'd get the heck out of here.
Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection.
We were worried that our main speaker wouldn't be able to make it tonight. But fortunately due to a hole in the prosecution's case . . .
I hope you will excuse my being late. The person in this organization who gave me directions here has obviously heard me speak before.
When I was preparing for this speech I asked my family for advice. One member replied There's a first time for everything so try to be funny and brief.
Most experts suggest that one should open with a joke. Obviously they've never heard me tell a joke.
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks.
I'm moving down here . . . because some of you in the back might not be able to hear my talk . . . and that wouldn't be fair to those who can hear it.
Fear is the tax that conscience pays to guilt.
FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real.
Fear is the dark room in which negatives are developed.
Better a fearful end than fear without end.
Keep a thing seven years and you will find a use for it.
When at night you cannot sleep talk to the Shepherd and stop counting sheep.
