Some survivors can be wary of most people, yet blinded by compassion toward fellow survivors or others who suffer — or who pretend to suffer, or exaggerate their sufferings, in order to take advantage of the survivor. Some survivors overidentify with other survivors, not realizing that even if someone was traumatized or suffers in a similar way, it doesn’t necessarily mean that person is honest. Being either overly suspicious or overly trusting can create problems with a partner who is able to judge the sincerity of others more realistically.

~ Aphrodite Matsakis

Aphrodite Matsakis Abuse Survivors Boundaries Compassion Distrust Healthy Relationships Mental Illness Overidentification Partner Ptsd Spouse Suffering Survivors Survivors Of Abuse Suspicious Trauma Survivors Trust

Some of the experiences endured by human beings on this earth are virtually unbelievable.

~ Aphrodite Matsakis

Aphrodite Matsakis Abuse Disbelief Doubt Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Ptsd Society Denial Trauma Trauma Memories Traumatic Experiences Traumatized Unbelievable

However, if you do not believe your clients, they may sense your doubt and never fully trust you. As Bruce Goderez (1986), director of a PTSD inpatient unit says, It is important for the clinician and counselor to be willing to be made a fool. In other words, it is better that you believe a client who is lying or distorting the truth than to disbelieve a hurting trauma survivor who may never seek help again if your attitude is one of disbelief or disdain. Even if that client were to continue in therapy, they would never fully trust you.

~ Aphrodite Matsakis

Aphrodite Matsakis Counseling Disbelief Disclosure Doubt Lying Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Psychotherapy Ptsd Trauma Memories Traumatized

As you may already know, post-traumatic stress disorder is extremely complex. Each client has a unique, perhaps virtually unbelievable, set of experiences, and an almost equally set of reactions to those experiences.

~ Aphrodite Matsakis

Aphrodite Matsakis Abuse Survivors Counseling Denial Disbelief Mental Health Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Psychotherapy Ptsd Society Denial Therapy Trauma Survivors Traumatic Experiences Unbelievable

In order to believe clients' accounts of trauma, you need to suspend any pre-conceived notions that you have about what is possible and impossible in human experience. As simple as they may sound, it may be difficult to do so.

~ Aphrodite Matsakis

Aphrodite Matsakis Abuse Survivors Denial Disbelief Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Society Denial Trauma Traumatic Experiences Traumatized