You want them to give Batman counselling sessions?It's genius. Just make Bruce Wayne get over his shit, then, presto, no more Batman. The baddies win by default.

~ Jay Stringer

Jay Stringer Batman Humour

Then I think, fuck it, this bit of floor looks nice.

~ Jay Stringer

Jay Stringer Humour

I wanted to make at least an effort to impress, so I found my best suit, a Primark special that looked like it had been ironed by a blind man

~ Jay Stringer

Jay Stringer Humour Sam Ireland

No, he didn’t come to me for a gun. I only said that because of you, thought maybe you’d want one, with being shot and everything.’ ‘Why the fuck would I want a gun? Would you ask a man who’s just been bitten by a shark if he wants to buy a shark?

~ Jay Stringer

Jay Stringer Crime Guns Humour

We ran both the courier service and a detective agency from the same office, and had phone apps for both. Basically, we're Uber for parcels and mysteries.

~ Jay Stringer

Jay Stringer Detectives Humour Uber