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Jenny Offill Quotes

Jenny Offill quote from classy quote

A few nights later, I secretly hope that I might be a genius. Why else can no amount of sleeping pills fell my brain? But in the morning my daughter asks me what a cloud is and I cannot say.

~ Jenny Offill

Jenny Offill Brain Clouds Genius Knowledge Sleep Sleeping Sleepless Sleeplessness

There is a husband who requires mileage receipts, another who wants sex at three a.m One who forbids short haircuts, another who refuses to feed the pets. I would never put up with that, the other wives think. Never.

~ Jenny Offill

Jenny Offill Accounting Cars Haircuts Receipts Sex

My daughter breaks both her wrists jumping off of a swing. Her friend, who is five, told her to jump off of it. I promise nothing will happen, she said. But why did she promise that? she wails later at the hospital.

~ Jenny Offill

Jenny Offill Broken Bones Children Humor Kids

My plan was to never get married. I was going to be an art monster instead. Women almost never become art monsters because art monsters only concern themselves with art, never mundane things. Nabokov didn't even fold his own umbrella. Vera licked his stamps for him.

~ Jenny Offill

Jenny Offill Art Feminism Writing Life

The wife watched her neighbor get fat over the next year. The Germans have a word for that. Kummerspeck. Literally, grief bacon.

~ Jenny Offill

Jenny Offill Grief

I hate often and easily. I hate, for example, people who sit with their legs splayed. People who claim to give 110 percent. People who call themselves comfortable when what they mean is decadently rich. You're so judgmental, my shrink tells me, and I cry all the way home, thinking of it.

~ Jenny Offill

Jenny Offill Hate Judgmental Heart Therapy Truth

A thought experiment courtesy of the Stoics. If you are tired of everything you possess, imagine that you have lost all these things.

~ Jenny Offill

Jenny Offill Courtesy Lost Objects Possess Stoics Things Thought

Is she a good baby? People would ask me. Well, no, I'd say.That swirl of hair on the back of her head. We must have taken a thousand pictures of it.

~ Jenny Offill

Jenny Offill Babies Motherhood

Here is what happens in middle age: Some friends and acquaintances who were merely eccentric for years become unmistakably mad.

~ Jenny Offill

Jenny Offill Aging Eccentricity Madness Middle Age

Once when he was still young, I saw a bit of his scalp showing through his hair and I was afraid. But it was just a cowlick. Now sometimes it shows through for real, but I feel only tenderness.

~ Jenny Offill

Jenny Offill Aging Love Marriage

Whenever the wife wants to do drugs, she thinks about Sartre. One bad trip and then a giant lobster followed him around for the rest of his days.

~ Jenny Offill

Jenny Offill Drugs Sartre

What Ann Druyan said: Compressed into a minute-long segment, the brain waves of a woman newly in love sound like a string of firecrackers exploding.

~ Jenny Offill

Jenny Offill Falling In Love Love
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