P.g. Wodehouse Quotes

I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare -- or, if not, it's some equally brainy lad -- who says that it's always just when a chappie is feeling particularly top-hole, and more than usually braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with a bit of lead piping.

~ P.g. Wodehouse

...there occurred to me the simple epitaph which, when I am no more, I intend to have inscribed on my tombstone. It was this:He was a man who acted from the best motives. There is one born every minute.

~ P.g. Wodehouse

The brains of members of the Press departments of motion-picture studios resemble soup at a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.

~ P.g. Wodehouse

What George was thinking was that the late king Herod had been unjustly blamed for a policy which had been both statesmanlike and in the interests of the public. He was blaming the mawkish sentimentality of the modern legal system which ranks the evisceration and secret burial of small boys as a crime.

~ P.g. Wodehouse

Why do you want a political career? Have you ever been in the House of Commons and taken a good look at the inmates? As weird a gaggle of freaks and sub-humans as was ever collected in one spot.

~ P.g. Wodehouse

I had one of those ideas I do sometimes get, though admittedly a chump of the premier class.

~ P.g. Wodehouse

It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to bury later on, when he had time.

~ P.g. Wodehouse

And so the merry party began. It was one of those jolly, happy, bread-crumbling parties where you cough twice before you speak, and then decide not to say it after all.

~ P.g. Wodehouse

I don’t know if you have had the same experience, but the snag I always come up against when I’m telling a story is this dashed difficult problem of where to begin it.

~ P.g. Wodehouse