Contemporary Romance Quotes

Did you forget a dentist appointment or something, big guy? Where the hell did you hop off to?

~ Elle Lothlorien

Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say that 'Alice Faye picked a peck of pepper for the poor, piping pig in the purple poke.' Wait—is that not what we’re talking about here?

~ Elle Lothlorien

What if it’s a shy fish? Is that a 'coy koi?' What? Don’t hate me because I’m asking the important questions.

~ Elle Lothlorien

He’s a guy. We’re easy and stupid. Just go bat your eyes at him and beg for forgiveness. It’ll take five minutes…three if you wear something low-cut.

~ Elle Lothlorien

Yeah, that’s exactly how I feel when I’m around you: confused, but still satisfied.' I freeze, trying to figure out how to cancel it out and replace it with something that sounds a whole lot less like sex and a candy bar ad.

~ Elle Lothlorien

I brought you out here because I wanted to share a sunrise with you, and maybe even a sunset. I wanted to see how much I could kiss you between now and the time we dock tomorrow. And if I was really lucky, I was hoping I could lie with you until you fell asleep, until I couldn’t stay awake anymore. And in the morning, we’d wake up, and we’d be together, just like this.

~ Elle Lothlorien

Follow me down, Alice Faye Dahl. I know the way.

~ Elle Lothlorien

Alice, winning means manipulation. It means taking people—people who may have helped you in the past, even people you care about—and using them without hesitation or regret. It means making decisions that would be viewed by any normal-thinking human being as cynical at best and dishonorable at worst

~ Elle Lothlorien

I believe the phrase you’re looking for is ‘too much money and not enough things to spend it on.

~ Elle Lothlorien

The question is: will I get used to a menu with kilojoules instead of calories? I mean, I don’t think anyone even knows how many kilojoules are in a calorie. I had to break out a whiteboard this morning and do calculus just to figure out how many calories were in a glass of water Down Under.

~ Elle Lothlorien

Hey, any idea why Australians speak something that sounds deceptively like English but isn’t? I mean, I’m trying to figure out why I can’t seem to converse with another human being who speaks the same language as I do.

~ Elle Lothlorien

Do you ever answer anything in a way that people expect you to?

~ Elle Lothlorien

I believe it went like this—and stop me if I’m wrong, Mousey: ‘Listen, we may not be our own continent and everything, but we have a big country over in America too.

~ Elle Lothlorien

So you went back to your friend’s next donkament two weeks later, and this time you just laughed right along when they gave you that framed picture of the poker hands. And when they called you ‘pigeon,’ ‘fish,’ and ‘muppet,’ you just smiled and batted your eyes and said stupid things like ‘Does a straight beat a crooked?’ And while everyone else was throwing a party, you just sat there acting like a tourist with your kill stack until you were in the money. Those poor dills…they didn’t know what hit ‘em, did they?

~ Elle Lothlorien

Alice, you might be the product of the biggest ball of ignorance, confidence, and good fortune the universe has ever manufactured. But if you’re thinking that you can take your results at the virtual tables and your grand tactic of Ignorance Is Bliss, and make that work for the Main Event, forget it—it WON'T.

~ Elle Lothlorien

Alice? You didn’t get this far without realizing that you don’t have to cheat to win. You just have to accept that people are easily manipulated.

~ Elle Lothlorien

Once the principals in their party are seated, with those lower on the totem pole left to grumble and move on to find another table, our once-cozy booth transforms into a damp fusion of vacuous wretchedness, with the three women all complaining alternately about their wet hair/clothes and their respective distance from Talon, while the man himself is trying to maneuver his Paul Bunyan frame way too close to me.

~ Elle Lothlorien

No thanks…Dodo, was it? I don’t know if I can watch you have performance problems twice in ten days.

~ Elle Lothlorien

Suddenly, the giant, three-headed dog that guards the entrance to the Underworld appears next to her—sans two of its heads—and sits down. As a child, we had a neighbor with a Great Dane, and I know they’re about three feet tall at the shoulder. Allow another twelve inches for their T-Rex-sized heads, and you’ve got a dog that this woman could throw a saddle on and ride like a pony.

~ Elle Lothlorien

For the first time, there’s no barrier between us and we make eye contact. All of a sudden, I feel like the character in Raiders of the Lost Ark—the one who watches in horror as the wispy, beautiful angels floating from the Ark of the Covenant morph into howling, homicidal demons. You know, right before he melts like a cheap candle.

~ Elle Lothlorien

I’ll get you and your little dog too?’ You say your girl can’t pay me back? Believe me when I say that that little gift’s just gonna keep right on giving.

~ Elle Lothlorien

Alice, it took big, dumb Talon Dodo thirty seconds to get you so pissed about a poker hand pun that you were about to beat him to death with your cane.

~ Elle Lothlorien

The car doesn’t so much drive as float above the road, like we’re making our way to Sydney in a hovercraft.

~ Elle Lothlorien

When some smart ass asks you if you’re driving, you say, 'Nope, just kicking the tires.’ You have to make sure you actually kick them all on your way around to the passenger side. Otherwise it’s like lying.

~ Elle Lothlorien

If one more person tells me how big this country is, I’m going to go kick a koala.

~ Elle Lothlorien

How was I supposed to know ‘lucked out’ means ‘I got screwed over’ in Australian?

~ Elle Lothlorien

Yeah, well, when they say ‘You know it’s a long way, don’t you?’ what they really mean is: ‘You know it’d be faster if you just rode a kangaroo, don’t you?

~ Elle Lothlorien

Congratulations, Mousey, you’ve managed to insult every marsupial in the country in just under three kilometers.

~ Elle Lothlorien

I don’t know what this is for anyway. I mean, let me tell you what I’m never going to say to any human being, ever: ‘I had hunting season off-suit in the pocket, but I've had kicker trouble with that hand often enough to fold it.

~ Elle Lothlorien

Seriously, what is the purpose? Maybe I’d feel better about walking around speaking fluent jive if I knew there was a reason for it.

~ Elle Lothlorien

I like it because when people use a lot of poker lingo, it usually means they’ve been playing the game for a while. Which is why I immediately avoid those people.

~ Elle Lothlorien

So ‘fatal’ only kills you two out of three times these days? That’s good to know.

~ Elle Lothlorien

Australians are descended from a boatload of English convicts, right? So two hundred years in isolation at the bottom of the planet is plenty of time for the language to evolve into some sort of double-speak prison slang.

~ Elle Lothlorien

I’m good at being vague and unpredictable. It’s sort of a hard habit to break.

~ Elle Lothlorien

Oh, I have plenty of problems with Rabbit, it’s just that my comfort level with his name is standing in line behind about a hundred more important things.

~ Elle Lothlorien

I don’t think Australians ever use a couple of words when twenty will do just fine.

~ Elle Lothlorien

How do you tactfully spin the term “man-whore” to someone’s sister?

~ Elle Lothlorien

Now see, if it were me, I wouldn’t have led with that. I would’ve gone with something like ‘G’day’ or ‘Wow, aren’t you a little hottie?

~ Elle Lothlorien

Did you think your boyfriend was going to stick around and watch you do THAT? If we weren’t related, I would’ve left too. Actually…is it already too late for me to leave?

~ Elle Lothlorien

You dance?”“I think that might be overly optimistic,” he said. “I do something. I’ll try not to hurt you.

~ Robyn Carr