Funny Quotes

I’ve been fighting to be who I am all my life. What’s the point of being who I am, if I can’t have the person who was worth all the fighting for?

~ Stephanie Lennox

Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long.Good things come to those who wait.

~ Jess C. Scott

A fit, healthy body—that is the best fashion statement

~ Jess C. Scott

I felt like an animal, and animals don’t know sin, do they?

~ Jess C. Scott

V-Day…if you need this one day in a year to show everyone else you truly care for “your loved one” I think it’s quite stupid. I hate this commercialism. It’s all artificial, and has nothing to do with real love.

~ Jess C. Scott

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

~ Marian Keyes

Sex without love is a meaning less experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

~ Woody Allen

Last night I was seriously considering whether I was a bisexual or not but I don’t think so though I’m not sure if I’d like to be and argh I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, if you like a person, you like the person, not their genitals.

~ Jess C. Scott

My head’ll explode if I continue with this escapism.

~ Jess C. Scott

If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder.


~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Sam came around the side of the car and stopped dead when he saw me. “Oh my God, what is THAT?” I used my thumb and middle finger to flick the multicolored pom-pom on top of my head. “In my language, we call it a HAT. It keeps my ears warm.” “Oh my God,” Sam said again, and closed the distance between us. He cupped my face in his hands and studied me. “It’s horribly cute.” He kissed me, looked at the hat, and then he kissed me again. I vowed never to lose the pom-pom hat.

~ Maggie Stiefvater

To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.


~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Aside from the obvious, Francesca, what do you want in return for supplying information?” Bones asked, getting back to the subject. “You to take me,” she replied at once. “Not gonna happen!” I spat, squeezing him possessively. Three sets of widened eyes fixed on me. That’s when I realized that what I had a firm grip on was no longer his hand.

~ Jeaniene Frost

Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.


~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo

My shoulder will never be the same. I expect you to nurse me back to health.

~ Cassandra Clare

I’m a fake fact factory. The things I make are the things I make up. Also, as a side business, I make love. Actually, I just made that up.

~ Dora J. Arod

I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep.

~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.


~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.


~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo

She held up her calloused, grimy fingers. Leo couldn't help thinking there was nothing hotter than a girl who didn't mind getting her hands dirty. But of course, that was just a general comment. Didn't apply to Calypso. Obviously.

~ Rick Riordan

She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, “Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.

~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo

My love is meatloaf flavored. I just wish my meatloaf was also meatloaf flavored.

~ Dora J. Arod

If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal.


~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Maybe you could be mine / or maybe we’ll be entwined / aimless in this sexless foreplay.

~ Jess C. Scott

I suppose it’s not a social norm, and not a manly thing to do — to feel, discuss feelings. So that’s what I’m giving the finger to. Social norms and stuff…what good are social norms, really? I think all they do is project a limited and harmful image of people. It thus impedes a broader social acceptance of what someone, or a group of people, might actually be like.

~ Jess C. Scott

Two seconds later, the sound of an alarm filled my ears. ''What did you do?'' I said over the noise as he backed up towards the bathroom door. ''The girl who gave you the note?''''Yes...''''I caught her staring at my lighter.''I blinked. ''You gave a child, in a psych ward , a lighter?''His eyes crinkled at the corners. ''She seemed trustworthy.''''You're sick,'' I said, but smiled.''Hey, nobody's perfect. '' Noah smiled back.

~ Michelle Hodkin

It's funny. No matter how hard you try, you can't close your heart forever. And the minute you open it up, you never know what's going to come in. But when it does, you just have to go for it! Because if you don't, there's not point in being here.

~ Kirstie Alley

What makes big boobs and perkiness so attractive to boys? I mean, really. Two round, mounds of fat and a fake smile. Yeah, winning attributes.

~ Gena Showalter

I live in my own little world. But its ok, they know me here.

~ Lauren Myracle

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

~ Isaac Asimov

I can't decide whether I'm a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I'm a bad girl wrapped up in a good girl. And that's how I know I'm a woman!

~ C. Joybell C.

When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.

~ Bill Watterson

A boo is a lot louder than a cheer.

~ Lance Armstrong

I love you. I hate you. I like you. I hate you. I love you. I think you’re stupid. I think you’re a loser. I think you’re wonderful. I want to be with you. I don’t want to be with you. I would never date you. I hate you. I love you…..I think the madness started the moment we met and you shook my hand. Did you have a disease or something?

~ Shannon L. Alder

If you can't do anything about it, laugh like hell.

~ David Cook

My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.

~ Ellen Degeneres

I had a dream about you. We installed Dr. Robert Jarvik’s artificial heart in a mannequin and brought it to life, only to later kill it because a creature that’s all fake heart and no brain is what’s commonly called a “politician,” and must be destroyed.


~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I had a dream about you. You were an escalator, and I was a flight of stairs. You thought I was a Luddite, and I thought I was as ostrich, because I hadn’t figured out how to put the fly in flight. One day you broke down, and then you saw that you and I weren’t so different after all.

~ Dora J. Arod

I simply regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world created therein has different rules than my regular human world.

~ Mindy Kaling

I had a dream about you last night. The champagne was non-alcoholic. You didn't notice, and laughed at my jokes anyway.

~ Michael Summers