Ellen Degeneres Quotes

My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.

~ Ellen Degeneres

Things will get easier, people's minds will change, and you should be alive to see it.

~ Ellen Degeneres

Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are.

~ Ellen Degeneres

When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.

~ Ellen Degeneres

You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled.

~ Ellen Degeneres

Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days.

~ Ellen Degeneres

It always helps to think about other people instead of ourselves.

~ Ellen Degeneres

Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside - to have a big hear and an open mind and a spectacular spleen.

~ Ellen Degeneres

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.

~ Ellen Degeneres

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

~ Ellen Degeneres

Procrastinate now, don't put it off.

~ Ellen Degeneres

I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.

~ Ellen Degeneres

Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. It is the universe's way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast. Listen to the music. Whoa whoa, listen to the music. Because music makes the people come together, it makes the bourgeois and the rebel. So come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody try to love one another. Because what the world needs now is love, sweet love. And I know that love is a battlefield, but boogie on reggae woman because you're gonna make it after all. So celebrate good times, come on. I've gotta stop I've gotta come to my senses, I've been out riding fences for so long... oops I did it again... um... What I'm trying to say is, if you leave tonight and you don't remember anything else that I've said, leave here and remember this: Procrastinate now, don't put it off.

~ Ellen Degeneres

Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.

~ Ellen Degeneres

What’s not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we given up on writing letters to each other, we barely even talk to each other. People have become so accustomed to texting that they’re actually startled when the phone rings. It’s like we suddenly all have Batphones. If it rings, there must be danger. Now we answer, “What happened? Is someone tied up in the old sawmill?”“No, it’s Becky. I just called to say hi.”“Well you scared me half to death. You can’t just pick up the phone and try to talk to me like that. Don’t the tips of your fingers work?

~ Ellen Degeneres

Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny jokes to each other. When they reach your brain,you hear what they're saying and that boosts your health and happiness. Knock Knock... Who's There?.. Little endorphin... Little endorphin who?... Little Endorphin Annie. And then the endorphins laugh and then you laugh. See? Its Science.

~ Ellen Degeneres

Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also have to move the chair.

~ Ellen Degeneres

True beauty is not related to what color your hair is or what color your eyes are. True beauty is about who you are as a human being, your principles, your moral compass.

~ Ellen Degeneres

I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.

~ Ellen Degeneres

The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.

~ Ellen Degeneres

Life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy by yourself and for yourself. Happiness comes from within. You have the power to change your own mindset so that all the negative, horrible thoughts that try to invade your psyche are replaced with happy, positive, wonderful thoughts.

~ Ellen Degeneres

I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That's really why I do what I do.

~ Ellen Degeneres

You know, it's hard work to write a book. I can't tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic.

~ Ellen Degeneres

It's failure that gives you the proper perspective on success.

~ Ellen Degeneres

Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.

~ Ellen Degeneres

Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.

~ Ellen Degeneres

I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?

~ Ellen Degeneres

Answers to Frequently Asked Questions:Yes.Yes.No.One time in high school.Three times in my twenties.Rocks no salt.Yes.Four.Never. And how dare you!I will take no further questions.

~ Ellen Degeneres

Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called spilling? Just something to think about.

~ Ellen Degeneres

If your Birthday is on Christmas day and you're not Jesus, you should start telling people your birthday is on June 9 or something. Just read up on the traits of a Gemini. Suddenly you're a multitasker who loves the color yellow. Because not only do you get stuck with them combo gift, you get the combo song. We wish you a merry Christmas - and happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas - happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Ye - Birthday, Terry!

~ Ellen Degeneres

It's funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.

~ Ellen Degeneres

I personally like being unique. I like being my own person with my own style and my own opinions and my own toothbrush.

~ Ellen Degeneres

I guess what I'm trying to say is, there are a lot of self righteous people out there. And if you try to adjust your life to please them - by the way you dress, your sexuality, or the ass faces you like to make - you are just going to go crazy and risk being as unhappy as these self righteous kooks are. So enjoy your life. God gave us our bodies as a gift.(Granted, to some of us it's kind of a gag gift, but that's okay too.) Wear what you want, love who you want, and have fun.

~ Ellen Degeneres

The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble.

~ Ellen Degeneres

It's a little weird that I'm getting an award for being nice and generous and kind... which is what we're all supposed to do for one another. That's the point of being human. I think that kindness is an innate quality that we all have. We need to see more of it in the world. I want everyone to know that we all really, really love one another. Deep down, we all love one another. We need to get back to that. My wish is that we all try.

~ Ellen Degeneres

Don't hold onto things, it will only bring you pain.

~ Ellen Degeneres

Have you ever heard somebody sing some lyrics that you've never sung before, and you realize you've never sung the right words in that song? You hear them and all of a sudden you say to yourself, 'Life in the Fast Lane?' That's what they're saying right there? You think, 'why have I been singing 'wipe in the vaseline?' how many people have heard me sing 'wipe in the vaseline?' I am an idiot.

~ Ellen Degeneres

We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter.

~ Ellen Degeneres

Some people believe that to find happiness, you should live each day of your life as if it's your last because that way you will appreciate every single moment you have. Other people believe that you should live each day as if it's your first because then every day can be the beginning of a new journey.

~ Ellen Degeneres

It must be around forty, when you're over the hill. I don't even know what that means and why it's a bad thing. When I go hiking and I get over the hill, that means I'm past the hard part and there's a snack in my future. That's a good thing as far as I'm concerned.

~ Ellen Degeneres