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Lol quote from classy quote

I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.

~ Ellen Degeneres

Ellen Degeneres Funny Godmothers Humor Lol

Leo,” Hazel gasped, “I can’t—my arms—”“Hazel,” he said. “Do you trust me?”“No!”“Me neither,” Leo admitted.

~ Rick Riordan

Rick Riordan Funny Humor Leo I Love You Ok Lol Trust

I would love to slap you right now, but I’m currently wielding a nine pound ball and I’m afraid that would be called murder.

~ Sara Wolf

Sara Wolf Humor Lol

How did you find me? If you hacked into the Club’s computer to look up my appointments - “Whoa, I think you overestimate me, shitlord. Last time I checked all I did was be in the wrong place at the right time. I saw you and had to - ”“Stalk me.”“ - delicately approach you. In a sideways manner. From behind. Without being seen at all. For ten minutes.

~ Sara Wolf

Sara Wolf Humor Lol

It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people.

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

F. Scott Fitzgerald 20S Dating Fitzgerald Flapper Funny Gatsby Girls Head And Shoulders Humor Humorous Kissing Kissing Quotes Lol Love Romance Zelda

Where’s the pizza?” Something warm and furry came and leaned against my right leg. I reached down to pet Rocky, a black lab who was going gray around his eyes and muzzle. “Rocky wants to know where the pizza is, too.”“He’s the reason the food is in the kitchen. Last time we kept it out here on the picnic table, he helped himself to half of a large bacon pepperoni pizza and then he threw up in my mom’s closet. She was cleaning dog barf out of her shoes for days.”I squatted down and rubbed Rocky’s ears. “I bet you were framed, huh, buddy?” He leaned into the ear rub and sighed. “I bet it was the cat, wasn’t it?” He sighed again like he was agreeing with me.“Nice try, but there isn’t that much barf in a cat,” Trevor said.

~ Chris Cannon

Chris Cannon Dogs Lol Romance Romcom Ya

Love is as we will it to be. ~ Amunhotep El Bey

~ Amunhotep El Bey

Amunhotep El Bey Comedy Funny Humorous Quotations Inspirational Quotations Lol Motivational Quotations Philosophical Quotations Poetry

Interviewer: So. Tell me about your mother.Ezra: You're taping this, right?Interviewer: Audio only. Camera is faulty.Ezra: Okay, well for the benefit of the sight-impaired, I am now raising my… oh, dear… yes, it's my MIDDLE finger at Mr. Postgrad here.Interviewer: Mr. Mason...Ezra: Now I'm wiggling it.Interviewer: Terminating interview at 13:58 on 03/19/75.Ezra: Look at it wiggl--audio ends-

~ Amie Kaufman

Amie Kaufman Funny Lol

When I was alive, I mean the first time, Mussolini was in charge. We were at war.”“Mussolini?” Leo frowned. “Wasn’t he like BFFs with Hitler?

~ Rick Riordan

Rick Riordan Funny Hazel Levesque Leo Valdez Lol

Shigure Sohma: So anyway I was wondering if you could stop by the house and take a look at Tohru's cut. That is if it isn't a problem.Hatori Sohma: No problem. I'll stop by the house this evening. Shigure Sohma: Hmmm What's this Hatori I don't think I ever heard you sound so eager to come over. Could it be you have a secret crush on Tohru [long silence from the other end of the phone]Shigure Sohma: [shouts] I knew it You naughty naughty man you Hatori Sohma: No I was simply too amazed by your stupidity to say anything.

~ Natsuki Takaya

Natsuki Takaya Crush Dog Dragon Fruits Basket Funny Hatori Lol Shigure Tohru

Nothing says awkward like coming in your pants while dry humping.

~ Jay Mclean

Jay Mclean Funny Humping Lol Sex

Okay, so, flying,” I started, taking a deep breath and focusing on the thing I loved most in the world. “Flying is … great. It feels great when you’re doing it. It’s fun. Pure freedom. There’s nothing better.”Dylan smiled, a slow, easy smile that seemed to light up his whole face.“So the first thing we’re going to do,” I told him, “is push you off the roof.

~ James Patterson

James Patterson Flying Funny Humor Lol Smile Smooth Smooth Max Wings

Kyo Sohma: One of these days I'll make you say you're sorry Yuki Sohma: looking bored I'm sorry. Kyo Sohma: Dammit That's not what I meant Don't you have any shame Yuki Sohma: still looking annoyed Yes I'm ashamed to be seen with you shouting in public. Kyo Sohma: Oh that's it We're taking this outside Yuki Sohma: still looking annoyed We ARE outside you stupid cat.

~ Natsuki Takaya

Natsuki Takaya Cute Fruits Basket Funny Kyo Lol Yuki

A classroom . People trying to stick me in classrooms was becoming as predictable and annoying as people trying to kill me, but with less-fun results.

~ James Patterson

James Patterson Funny Humor Lol School

Your... Your aura. It's... amazing. It's shining. I mean, it always shines, but today... Well I've never seen anything like it. I didn't expect that after everything that happened.'I shifted around uncomfortably. If I lit up around Dimitri normally, what on earth happened to my aura post-sex?

~ Richelle Mead

Richelle Mead Adrian Dirty Funny Hathaway Humor Ivashkov Joke Lol Rose

I want to do it too!” said Gazzy, sitting very, very quietly, completely motionless.“Nope,” said Nudge, shaking her head. “You stand out like a fart in church.

~ James Patterson

James Patterson Church Fart Funny Lol Powers

When they figure out how to bottle up orgasms and sell them as a food additive, I'll be first in line.

~ Nenia Campbell

Nenia Campbell Food Food Love Foodie Funny Funny And Random Humor Humorous Lol Orgasm Orgasms Random Sex Sex Quotes Sexy Humor

In my book an erection constitutes personal growth.

~ Amunhotep El Bey

Amunhotep El Bey Comedy Fun Funny Funny Quotations Humor Humorous Quotations Lol

Only love will attract love.”~ Amunhotep El Bey

~ Amunhotep El Bey

Amunhotep El Bey Comedy Funny Humorous Quotations Inspirational Quotations Lol Motivational Quotations

There are men and gods, and beings like Pythagoras.

~ Pythagoras

Pythagoras Funny Gods Lol Men Pythagoras

And Talon did not understand – no, strike that, he didn‘t want to understand – why seeing Hawk and Roadkill together gave him a funny ache in the pit of his stomach. Every time he looked at Flit, the ache got worse. He needed to get laid.

~ Agatha Bird

Agatha Bird Humour Lol

Izzy was utterly convinced. Never mind Arabian horses, African cheetahs. No creature in the world could bolt so quickly as a rake confronted with the word marriage. They ought to shout it out at footraces rather than using starting pi

~ Tessa Dare

Tessa Dare Lol Marriage

Butt holes are like a one-way street, they were made the way they were for a reason.

~ Nenia Campbell

Nenia Campbell Humor Life Lol Metaphor Philosophy Random Sex Sex Quotes Sexy Humor Xxx

I can take care of myself,” I said hotly.“Darlin, you don't even know how to pleasure yourself.

~ Nenia Campbell

Nenia Campbell Humor Independence Lol Self Reliance Sex

I nod and smile and smile and nod, and when she turns away, I form a gun with my hand, place it to my temple, and pull the trigger. This girl is starved for attention. It's amazing to me when people are totally unaware of how bad they are at socializing.

~ Victoria Scott

Victoria Scott Humorous Lol

Well, so you don't get too cocky, I myself often complete the TV Guide crossword puzzle. He puffed out his chest. In pen.

~ Shelly Laurenston

Shelly Laurenston Humorous Lol Putting On His Big Boy Pants

He rolled his eyes and took my hand. His hand was hard and calloused, tough with muscle and old scars.The night settled around us like a blanket. I could hear the water lapping against the dock. We were totally alone.“You’re . . . ,” he began, and I waited, heart throbbing in my throat. “Such a pain,” he concluded.“What?” I asked, just as his head swooped in and his mouth touched mine. I tried to speak, but one ofFang’s hands held the back of my head, and he kept his lips pressed against me, kissing me softly but with a Fanglike determination.Oh, jeez, I thought distractedly. Jeez, this is Fang, and me, and . . . Fang tilted his head to kiss me more deeply, and I felt totally lightheaded. Then I remembered to breathe through my nose, and the fog cleared a tiny bit. Somehow we were pressed together, Fang’s arms around me now, sliding under mywings, his hands flat against my back.It was incredible. I loved it. I loved him.It was a total disaster.Gasping, I pulled back. “I, uh—,” I began oh so coherently, and then I jumped up, almost knocking himover, and raced down the dock. I took off, flying fast, like a rocket.

~ James Patterson

James Patterson Afraid Best Friends Brb Dying Confusion Feelings Friendship Funny Holding Hands Jealousy Kiss Lol Love Night Otp Pain Pals Weird Wings

You are all made of real poop.

~ Anne Frank

Anne Frank Hate Lol Pee Poop Tutti You

I assure you that in all matters of discretion not involving food, we make etiquette tutors look like slobbering barbarians.

~ Scott Lynch

Scott Lynch Etiquette Food Lol

It’s when I’m around some people that my entire vocabulary goes on vacation. Like now

~ Cath Crowley

Cath Crowley Anxiety Anxiousness Lol Lovers

Finally! You're here!Uh....Do I know you?Well, no....But you're here, all the same...

~ Lynn Weingarten

Lynn Weingarten Book Conversation Humor Lol Party

I mean if there was any justice in the world you wouldn't even have to go to school during your period. You'd just stay home for five days and eat chocolate and cry.

~ Andrea Portes

Andrea Portes Funny Gym Class High School Humor Lol Menstruation Periods Ya

Well, then, he ought to write her a letter. He ought to say: 'This is to tell you that I propose to live with you as soon as this show is over. You will be prepared immediately on cessation of active hostilities to put yourself at my disposal; please. Signed, Xtopher Tietjens, Acting O.C. 9th Glams. A proper military communication.

~ Ford Madox Ford

Ford Madox Ford Lol Romantic Tietjens

Empowered Women 101: A confident woman takes him for exactly who he is, not who she wants him to be. He is who he is, take it or leave it before you get married. This is the ground level of your partner. Together you can grow from here. However, if you are still teaching basic kindergarten values such as kindness, compassion, respect or honesty then you shouldn't complain if your ground level has a basement.

~ Shannon L. Alder

Shannon L. Alder Basements Be Selective Don T Complain Laughing Lol Married Values

I took the money and passed the box across the counter and said politely, ‘Your choice of colourreally lacks style.’ I smiled and Beth laughed and the guy asked to see my manager.I got Bert and he leant over the box and looked at the paint and said, ‘Ed was being polite. Yourchoice of colour is shit.

~ Cath Crowley

Cath Crowley Ed Great Lol

I'm simpley one hell of a butler.

~ Sebastian Michealis

Sebastian Michealis A Black Butler Funny Hell I M Lol Mchichealis Of One Sebastian Simpley

Aline! Isabelle looked appalled. You can't just go around asking people what it's like to be a vampire.

~ Cassandra Clare

Cassandra Clare Cassandra Clare City Of Glass Funny Isabelle Lightwood Lol Mean Girls Vampire

I attacked him, he healed me, then he took me hunting, I threatened him, and he took me home. Wow. That was like a date.

~ Juliann Whicker

Juliann Whicker Dating Funny Lol

And For You Zero, A Life Sized Vudu Doll-Kaname KuranI DONT WANT IT!-Zero KiryuHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-Juri Elizabeth Marin

~ Matsuri Hino

Matsuri Hino Comedy Funny Lol

I started rubbing my temples and she suggested I don't really get headaches. It just hurts me to think.

~ Kelley Armstrong

Kelley Armstrong Funny Lol Sarcasm
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