Calvin And Hobbes Quotes

Reality continues to ruin my life.

~ Bill Watterson

I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.

~ Bill Watterson

When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.

~ Bill Watterson

Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

~ Bill Watterson

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

~ Bill Watterson

Calvin:It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?Television: ...it means that Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet

~ Bill Watterson

You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!

~ Bill Watterson

I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin

~ Bill Watterson

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long.

~ Bill Watterson

Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone.-Hobbes

~ Bill Watterson

You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.' 'That's why animals are so soft and huggy.

~ Bill Watterson

Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.

~ Bill Watterson

I'm a misunderstood genius.What's misunderstood?Nobody thinks I'm a genius.

~ Bill Watterson

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.

~ Bill Watterson

I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.

~ Bill Watterson