We have the choice of two identities: the external mask which seems to be real...and the hidden, inner person who seems to us to be nothing, but who can give himself eternally to the truth in whom he subsists. (295)

~ Thomas Merton

Thomas Merton False Self Hidden Feelings Mark Reality True Self

They might be kind, I thought. They might be sensible and good. They will not be like you. But I did not say it. I knew it would mean nothing to her. I said something - something ordinary and mild, I cannot think what. And after a time she came and kissed my cheek, and then she left me.

~ Sarah Waters

Sarah Waters Feelings Good Hidden Hidden Feelings Kind Love Sensible Thoughts Unrequited Love

Our need to be greater than or less than has been a defense against toxic shame. A shameful act was committed upon us. The perpetrator walked away, leaving us with the shame. We absorbed the notion that we are somehow defective. To cover for this we constructed a false self, a masked self. And it is this self that is the overachiever or the dunce, the tramp or the puritan, the powermonger or the pathetic loser.

~ Maureen Brady

Maureen Brady Abuse Survivors Ashamed Child Sexual Abuse Child Sexual Abuse Survivor Coverup Defective Defective Humans Dunce False Self Feeling Bad Healing Healing Insights Hidden Feelings Hidden Pain Hidden Self Incest Loser Overachiever Power Trip Puritan Recovery From Abuse Shame Survivor Toxic Shame True Self