Shame is internalized when one is abandoned. Abandonment is the precise term to describe how one loses one’s authentic self and ceases to exist psychologically.

~ John Bradshaw

John Bradshaw Abuse Healing Psychology Toxic Toxic Shame Trauma

Our need to be greater than or less than has been a defense against toxic shame. A shameful act was committed upon us. The perpetrator walked away, leaving us with the shame. We absorbed the notion that we are somehow defective. To cover for this we constructed a false self, a masked self. And it is this self that is the overachiever or the dunce, the tramp or the puritan, the powermonger or the pathetic loser.

~ Maureen Brady

Maureen Brady Abuse Survivors Ashamed Child Sexual Abuse Child Sexual Abuse Survivor Coverup Defective Defective Humans Dunce False Self Feeling Bad Healing Healing Insights Hidden Feelings Hidden Pain Hidden Self Incest Loser Overachiever Power Trip Puritan Recovery From Abuse Shame Survivor Toxic Shame True Self

Playing roles and acting are forms of lying. If a person acts like they really feel and it rocks the boat, they are ostracized. We promote pretense and lying as a cultural way of life. Living this way causes an inner split. It teaches us to hide and cover up our toxic shame. This sends us deeper into isolation and loneliness.

~ John Bradshaw

John Bradshaw Culture Denial Of Emotions Isolation Roles Shame Toxic Shame