“ Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. ”
Thank you leaf blowers, for making me look like the world's lamest Ghostbuster. I ain't afraid of no leaves.
~ Jimmy Fallon
If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice.
Thank you... fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports.
My parents were kind of over protective people. Me and my sister had to play in the backyard all the time. They bought us bikes for Christmas but wouldn't let us ride in the street, we had to ride in the backyard. Another Christmas, my dad got me a basketball hoop and put it in the middle of the lawn! You can't dribble on grass.
