Joe Dunthorne said this quote

“ Seducing Jordana was solid – she's got such high standards – but when I finally got the snogs in it was all worth it. I transform Jordana's blather into high-level discourse: Lounging in a post-osculatory glow, I knew that all those months of hard chivalry had been worthwhile. ”

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Oh diary, I love her, I love her, I love her so much. Jordana is the most amazing person I have ever met. I could eat her. I could drink her blood. She's the only person I would allow to be shrunk to microscopic size and explore me in a tiny submersible machine. She is wonderful and beautiful and sensitive and funny and sexy. She's too good for me, she's too good for anyone! All I could do was let her know. I said: I love you more than words. And I am a big fan of words.

~ Joe Dunthorne

I would never say snog. I would say osculate.” She looks at me as if to say: why do you exist?

~ Joe Dunthorne

I would never say snog. I would say osculate. She looks at me as if to say: why do you exist?

~ Joe Dunthorne

I bought a packet of Trojan® Ultra Pleasure Extra Sensitive condoms: ‘No. 1 in AMERICA’. They smell nothing like a positive first sexual experience.

~ Joe Dunthorne