Roseanne Barr said this quote

“ A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego. ”

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Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hundred miles.

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Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.

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The most out-there thing I’m saying is, ‘Don’t have babies. Don’t get married and have kids. Have a larger life than that.

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I figure when my husband comes home from work, if the kids are still alive, then I've done my job.

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