Sloane Crosley said this quote

Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.

~ Sloane Crosley

I got out on the street and started crying the kind of hysterical tears made justifiable only by turning off one’s cell phone, putting it to the ear, and pretending to be told of a death in the family.

~ Sloane Crosley

The children were overwhelmingly morbid. Not a single adult asked me where butterflies go when they die, but this question was more popular than pixie sticks with the under-four-foot set. I cursed parents for not preparing their children. When I was five, my mother and sister sat me up on the kitchen counter and explained the facts of life: the Easter Bunny didn't exist, Elijah was God's invisible friend, with any luck Nana would die soon, and if I ever saw a unicorn, I should kill it or catch it for cash. I turned out okay.

~ Sloane Crosley

The real proof that I have tried to love and that people have tried to love me back was never going to fit in a kitchen drawer.

~ Sloane Crosley