Steven Wright said this quote

It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.

~ Steven Wright

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

~ Steven Wright

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.

~ Steven Wright

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

~ Steven Wright