David Letterman Quotes

She represents the country Alamonia.

~ David Letterman

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

~ David Letterman

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.

~ David Letterman

There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe - because I've done a little of this myself - pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing.

~ David Letterman

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?

~ David Letterman

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.

~ David Letterman

We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets.

~ David Letterman