Finley Peter Dunne Quotes

The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better -- it is just turning around as usual.

~ Finley Peter Dunne

Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.

~ Finley Peter Dunne

Th' newspaper does ivrything f'r us. It runs th' polis foorce an' th' banks, commands th' milishy, controls th' ligislachure, baptizes th' young, marries th' foolish, comforts th' afflicted, afflicts th' comfortable, buries th' dead an' roasts thim aftherward.

~ Finley Peter Dunne

Th' first thing to have in a libry is a shelf.Fr'm time to time this can be decorated with lithrachure.But th' shelf is th' main thing.

~ Finley Peter Dunne

Many a man that couldn't direct ye to th' drug store on th' corner when he was thirty will get a respectful hearin' when age has further impaired his mind.

~ Finley Peter Dunne

I see gr-reat changes takin' place ivry day but no change at all ivry fifty years.

~ Finley Peter Dunne

It is more comfortable to feel that we are a slight improvement on a monkey than such a fallin' off fr'm th' angels.

~ Finley Peter Dunne

No matter whether the Constitution follows the flag or not the Supreme Court follows the election returns.

~ Finley Peter Dunne

An appeal is when ye ask wan court to show its contempt for another court.

~ Finley Peter Dunne

A man's idee in a card game is war- crool devastatin' and pitiless. A lady's idee iv it is a combynation iv larceny embezzlement an' burglary.

~ Finley Peter Dunne

Comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

~ Finley Peter Dunne

Many a man that couldn't direct ye to th' drug store on th' corner when he was thirty will get a respectful hearin' when age has further impaired his mind.

~ Finley Peter Dunne

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

~ Finley Peter Dunne

The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

~ Finley Peter Dunne

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

~ Finley Peter Dunne

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

~ Finley Peter Dunne

There are no friends at cards or world politics.

~ Finley Peter Dunne

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.

~ Finley Peter Dunne