Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
~ George Bernard Shaw
Never fret for an only son, the idea of failure will never occur to him.
When I was young, I observed that nine out of ten things I did were failures. So I did ten times more work.
My reputation grows with every failure.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity.
Parentage is a very important profession, but no test of fitness for it is ever imposed in the interest of the children.
I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.
Syllables govern the world.
Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended.
Martyrdom: The only way a man can become famous without ability.
Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does.
Science never solves a problem without creating ten more.
A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.
Life levels all men. Death reveals the eminent.
Every man over forty is a scoundrel.
Just do what must be done. This may not be happiness, but it is greatness.
It is a curious sensation: the sort of pain that goes mercifully beyond our powers of feeling. When your heart is broken, your boats are burned: nothing matters any more. It is the end of happiness and the beginning of peace.
It is the mark of a truly intelligent person to be moved by statistics.
I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.
A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to the country and to mankind is to bring up a family.
Independence? That's middle class blasphemy. We are all dependent on one another, every soul of us on earth.
If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience.
I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.
Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.
Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends.
There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.
Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.
If women were particular about men's characters, they would never get married at all.
Clever and attractive women do not want to vote they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.
The best place to find God is in a garden. You can dig for him there.
I am afraid we must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy.
Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.
Power does not corrupt men; fools, however, if they get into a position of power, corrupt power.
The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
Capitalism has destroyed our belief in any effective power but that of self interest backed by force.
I'm an atheist and I thank God for it.
Beware of false knowledge it is more dangerous than ignorance.
