Abuse manipulates and twists a child’s natural sense of trust and love. Her innocent feelings are belittled or mocked and she learns to ignore her feelings. She can’t afford to feel the full range of feelings in her body while she’s being abused—pain, outrage, hate, vengeance, confusion, arousal. So she short-circuits them and goes numb. For many children, any expression of feelings, even a single tear, is cause for more severe abuse. Again, the only recourse is to shut down. Feelings go underground.

~ Laura Davis

Laura Davis Abuse Child Abuse Guilt Healing Innocence Love Manipulation Repressed Feelings Shame Trust

Most survivors grew up too fast. Their vulnerable child-selves got lost in the need to protect and deaden themselves. Reclaiming the inner child is part of the healing process. Often the inner child holds information and feelings for the adult. Some of these feelings are painful, others are actually fun. The child holds the playfulness and innocence the adult has had to bury.

~ Laura Davis

Laura Davis Abuse Survivors Healing Healing From Abuse Healing Insights Inner Child Survivors

Survivors often develop an exaggerated need for control in their adult relationships. It’s the only way they feel safe. They also struggle with commitment—saying yes in a relationship means being trapped in yet another family situation where abuse might take place. So the survivor panics as her relationship gets closer, certain that something terrible is going to happen. She pulls away, rejects, or tests her partner all the time.

~ Laura Davis

Laura Davis Abuse Abuse Survivor Anxiety Control Family Fear Healing Panic Reject Rejection Relationship Problems Relationships Survivor Trapped Trauma

Many survivors insist they’re not courageous: ‘If I were courageous I would have stopped the abuse.’ ‘If I were courageous, I wouldn't be scared’... Most of us have it mixed up. You don’t start with courage and then face fear. You become courageous because you face your fear.

~ Laura Davis

Laura Davis Abuse Child Sexual Abuse Courage Fear Healing Mental Health Survivors Trauma

Although healing brings a better life, it also threatens to permanently alter life as you’ve known it. Your relationships, your position in the world, even your sense of identity may change. Coping patterns that have served you for a lifetime will be called into question. When you make the commitment to heal, you risk losing much of what is familiar. As a result one part of you may want to heal while another resists change.

~ Laura Davis

Laura Davis Change Child Sexual Abuse Commitment Copy Healing Identity Mental Health Recovery Relationships

Many survivors struggle to believe the abuse happened. They don’t want to believe it. It’s too painful to think about. They don’t want to accuse family members or face the terrible loss involved in realizing “a loved one” hurt them, they don’t want to rock the boat.

~ Laura Davis

Laura Davis Abuse Survivors Avoidance Child Abuse Survivors Denial Denial Of Abuse Denial Of Child Abuse Denial Of Incest Disbelief Facing Reality Parental Abuse Rock The Boat Survivors Survivors Of Abuse Trauma Memories