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Neil Leckman Quotes

Neil Leckman quote from classy quote

Years ago there was an old man I knew that told me he didn't trust me, because people with beards were hiding from something. I told him, That's true, I'm hiding from the barber!!

~ Neil Leckman

Neil Leckman Humorous Life And Living

Just out of sight around a bend in the river there's always a small island full of magic and mystery just waiting for you.

~ Neil Leckman

Neil Leckman Magic Mystery Neil Leckman

Well they have to have something to wean Caluntians off Venusian moles. Seems humans are the best therapy, to consume that is. They say we are a bit gamey though. An acquired taste, one we hope not many acquire.

~ Neil Leckman

Neil Leckman Neil Leckman Thoughts

Dale, a Plutonian Dreg Bug, the kind with seventeen eyes and a bad temper, got nailed in one of his eyes by a wild dart. Fight broke out when he punched Earl in the nose. Earl’s nose is very sensitive, hell it’s how he sees, sort of. Earl plopped down on the floor crying when a Flying Mugwhap flew over and ate Dale’s eye. Dale grabbed the Mugwhap and squeezed a good deal of the life out of it before the bouncer stopped him. Karen, the bouncer, is a reticulated Hive Mother, and a mean mother when she’s pissed off. She walked over and flicked Dale upside his head. That flick knocked Dale out cold, and cost him two more eyes when he hit the wall. She helped Earl up and bought him a drink. A nasty drink by all the comments I’ve heard. Something between varnish and the stuff people get in the corners of their mouths with a nice aftertaste of silver polish. Earl seemed to like it though.

~ Neil Leckman

Neil Leckman Neil Leckman Thoughts

Turn your diodes this way and pulse...

~ Neil Leckman

Neil Leckman Computers Humorous Neil Leckman

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless it is the burning bush, in that case the value of your bird just went up!!

~ Neil Leckman

Neil Leckman Humorous Inspirational

If a book falls in the woods and nobody read it, was it ever written?

~ Neil Leckman

Neil Leckman Humorous Writers On Writing

I have always pictured accupuncture like falling into a box of sewing needles, and then standing up refreshed and free of pain.

~ Neil Leckman

Neil Leckman Humorous Life Lessons

Yesterday I fell completely off the face of the earthContemplating life, light and love in the darkness of the voidStrangely it was in the dark that I found meaning for the light

~ Neil Leckman

Neil Leckman Neil Leckman Poems

Asthmatic spewer of filth gasps, but clean air does not sufficeTo fuel fires fueled by thoughts got rottenLest we all be forgotten thingsThat sit like dust upon the mantel of her mind

~ Neil Leckman

Neil Leckman Neil Leckman Poems

It lies here deep in the heart, the small chest of painSharp words like daggers placed it hereTo fill with hurtIn filling it grew heavy and drug me downFor to not feel is not to liveUntil I rest at last in dirtThe worst of you got the best of me…

~ Neil Leckman

Neil Leckman Neil Leckman Poems

New from Ronco, the Zomb-Matic adjustable dead. Choose how much of uncle Willy comes back to eat you!!! People like it when they have some control over how quickly they are consumed by guilt, or a dead loved one...

~ Neil Leckman

Neil Leckman Humor Neil Leckman Zombies

They say that time is relative. I think the way it's treating me it's a distant one, maybe a bad uncle, and not welcome in my house this Christmas!!

~ Neil Leckman

Neil Leckman Family Relationships Humor
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