he placed his handson my mindbefore reachingfor my waistmy hipsor my lipshe didn't call mebeautiful firsthe called meexquisite - how he touches me
it was when I stopped searching for home within others and lifted the foundations of home within myself I found there were no roots more intimate than those between a mind and body that have decided to be whole.
to do list (after the breakup)1. take refuge in your bed2. cry. till the tears stop (this will take a few days).3. don’t listen to slow songs.4. delete their number from your phone even though it is memorized on your fingertips.5. don’t look at old photos.6. find the closest ice cream shop and treat yourself to two scoops of mint chocolate chip. the mint will calm your heart. you deserve the chocolate.7. buy new bed sheets.8. collect all the gifts, t-shirts, and everything with their smell on it and drop it off at a donation center.9. plan a trip.10. perfect the art of smiling and nodding when someone brings their name up in conversation.11. start a new project.12. whatever you do. do not call.13. do not beg for what does not want to stay.14. stop crying at some point.15. allow yourself to feel foolish for believing you could’ve built the rest of your life in someone else’s stomach.16. breathe.
I will not have youbuild me into your lifewhen what i want is tobuild a life with you-the difference
despite knowingthey won’t be here for longthey still choose to livetheir brightest lives- sunflowers
what i miss most is how you loved me. but what i didn't know was how you loved me had so much to do with the person I was. it was a reflection of everything I gave to you. coming back to me. how did I not see that. how. did i sit here soaking in the idea that no one else would love me that way. when it was i that taught you. when it was i that showed you how to fill. the way i needed to be filled. how cruel i was to myself. giving you credit for my warmth simply because you had felt it. thinking it was you who gave me strength. wit. beauty. simply because you recognized it. as if i was already not these things before I met you. as if i did not remain these once you left.
a lot of timeswe are angry at other peoplefor not doing whatwe should have done for ourselves- responsibility
i am not a hotel room. i am homei am not the whiskey you wanti am the water you needdon't come here with expectationsand try to make a vacation out of me
for you to see beauty heredoes not meanthere is beauty in meit means there is beauty rootedso deep within youyou can’t help butsee it everywhere
your artis not about how many peoplelike your workyour art is aboutif your heart likes your workif your soul likes your workit's about how honestyou are with yourselfand you must never trade honesty for relatability
what terrifies me most is how wefoam at the mouth with envywhen others succeedbut sigh in reliefwhen they are failingour struggle tocelebrate each other iswhat's proven most difficultin being human
most importantly lovelike it's the only thing you knowat the end of the day all this means nothingthis page where you're sitting your degree your jobyour money nothing even matters except love and human connectionwho you lovedand how deeply you loved themhow you touched the people around you and how much you gave them
you tell me i am not like most girlsand learn to kiss me with your eyes closedsomething about the phrase - something abouthow i have to be unlike the womeni call sisters in order to be wantedmakes me want to spit your tongue out like i am supposed to be proud you picked meas if i should be relieved you thinki am better than them
i want to apologize to all the womeni have called prettybefore i've called them intelligent or bravei am sorry i made it sound as thoughsomething as simple as what you're born withis the most you have to be proud of when yourspirit has crushed mountainsfrom now on i will say things likeyou are resilient or you are extraordinarynot because i don't think you're prettybut because you are so much more than that
something about the phrase - something abouthow i have to be unlike the womeni call sisters in order to be wantedmakes me want to spit your tongue out
I love that about us how capable we are of feeling how unafraid we are of breaking and tend to our wounds with grace just being a womancalling myselfa womanmakes me utterly wholeand complete
every time you tell your daughteryou yell at herout of loveyou teach her to confuseanger with kindnesswhich seems like a good ideatill she grows up totrust men who hurt hercause they look so muchlike you- to fathers with daughters
i don't blame you for not knowing how to remain soft with me. sometimes i stay up thinking of all the places you are hurting which you'll never care to mention. i come from the same aching blood. from the same bone so desperate for attention i collapse in on myself. i am your daughter. i know the small talk is the only way you know how to tell me you love me. cause it is the only way i know how to tell you.
accept that you deserve more than painful love life is moving the healthiest thing for your heart is to move with it
people say things meant to rip you in half but you hold the power to notturn their words into a knifeand cut yourself
i thank the universe for takingeverything it has takenand giving to meeverything it is giving-balance