Terry Pratchett Quotes

Joy is to fun what the deep sea is to a puddle. It’s a feeling inside that can hardly be contained.

~ Terry Pratchett

The first question they ask is: Why was he eternally surprised?And they were told: Wen considered the nature of time and understood the universe is, instant by instant, re-created anew. Therefore, he understood, there is, in truth, no Past, only a memory of the Past. Blink your eyes, and the world you see next did not exist when you closed them. Therefore, he said, the only appropriate state of mind is surprise. The only appropriate state of heart is joy. The sky you see now, you have never seen before. The perfect moment is now. Be glad of it.

~ Terry Pratchett

Yes, but nomes aren’t hard to make,” said Dorcas. “You just need other nomes.” “You’re weird.

~ Terry Pratchett

As far as she could see, children mostly argued, shouted, ran around very fast, laughed loudly, picked their noses, got dirty and sulked.

~ Terry Pratchett

Magrat liked to think she was good with children, and worried that she wasn’t. She didn’t like them very much, and worried about this too. Nanny Ogg seemed to be effortlessly good with children by alternately and randomly giving them either a sweet or a thick ear, while Granny Weatherwax ignored them for most of the time and that seemed to work just as well.

~ Terry Pratchett

Things that try to look like things often do look more like things than things.

~ Terry Pratchett

Nanny Ogg was an attractive lady, which is not the same as being beautiful. She fascinated Casanunda. She was an incredibly comfortable person to be around, partly because she had a mind so broad it could accommodate three football fields and a bowling alley.

~ Terry Pratchett

You can be any sex you like provided you act male. There's no men and women in the Watch, just a bunch of lads.

~ Terry Pratchett

Miss Dearheart gave him a very brief look, and shook her head. There was movement under the table, a small fleshy kind of noise and the drunk suddenly bent forward, colour draining from his face. Probably only he and Moist heard Miss Dearheart purr: ‘What is sticking in your foot is a Mitzy “Pretty Lucretia” four-inch heel, the most dangerous footwear in the world. Considered as pounds per square inch, it’s like being trodden on by a very pointy elephant. Now, I know what you’re thinking: you’re thinking, “Could she press it all the way through to the floor?” And, you know, I’m not sure about that myself. The sole of your boot might give me a bit of trouble, but nothing else will. But that’s not the worrying part. The worrying part is that I was forced practically at knifepoint to take ballet lessons as a child, which means I can kick like a mule; you are sitting in front of me; and I have another shoe . Good, I can see you have worked that out. I’m going to withdraw the heel now.’There was a small ‘pop’ from under the table. With great care the man stood up, turned and, without a backward glance, lurched unsteadily away.‘Can I bother you?’ said Moist. Miss Dearheart nodded, and he sat down, with his legs crossed. ‘He was only a drunk,’ he ventured.‘Yes, men say that sort of thing,’ said Miss Dearheart.

~ Terry Pratchett

I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are good people and bad people. You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.

~ Terry Pratchett

The public thinks big, sensible, measured thoughts while people run around doing silly things

~ Terry Pratchett

...Granny Weatherwax, who had walked nightly without fear in the bandit-haunted forests of the mountains all her life in the certain knowledge that the darkness held nothing more terrible than she was...

~ Terry Pratchett

I don’t think it's weak to admit you made a mistake. That takes strength, if you ask me.

~ Terry Pratchett

We're living in science fiction, but we don't realize it.

~ Terry Pratchett

I really should talk to him. He's had a near-death experience!”We all have. It's called living.(Hogfather)

~ Terry Pratchett

Everybody has somebody. It could be a friend, a lover, a spouse, a writing partner, or even That One Person You See At The Coffee Shop each day. Sometimes they exist to comfort you. Sometimes they exist to drive you absolutely mad. Be open to either as a form of self-improvement.

~ Terry Pratchett

You mean it's my destiny? she said at last.Granny shrugged. Something like that. Probably. Who knows?

~ Terry Pratchett

You mean it's my destiny? she said at last.Granny shrugged. “Something like that. Probably. Who knows?

~ Terry Pratchett

Destiny was funny stuff, he knew. You couldn’t trust it. Often you couldn’t even see it. Just when you knew you had it cornered, it turned out to be something else—coincidence, maybe, or providence. You barred the door against it, and it was standing behind you. Then just when you thought you had it nailed down it walked away with the hammer.

~ Terry Pratchett

The beagle and the kobold approached, walking out of the dusty distance.

~ Terry Pratchett

Plans can break down. You cannot plan the future. Only presumptuous fools plan. The wise man steers.

~ Terry Pratchett

And the people of Ankh-Morpork are so thirsty for novelty that the whole city is, you might say, hurrying the future along for the sheer joy of watching its progress.

~ Terry Pratchett

IT'S THE EXPRESSION ON THEIR LITTLE FACES I LIKE, said the Hogfather. You mean sort of fear and awe and not knowing whether to laugh or cry or wet their pants? YES. NOW THAT IS WHAT I CALL BELIEF.

~ Terry Pratchett

There’s no point in believing in things that exist.

~ Terry Pratchett

WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HADN'T SAVED HIM?Yes! The sun would have risen just the same, yes?NOOh, come on. You can't expect me to believe that. It's an astronomical fact.THE SUN WOULD NOT HAVE RISEN....Really? Then what would have happened, pray?A MERE BALL OF FLAMING GAS WOULD HAVE ILLUMINATED THE WORLD.

~ Terry Pratchett

Belief is one of the most powerful organic forces in the multiverse. It may not be able to move mountains, exactly. But it can create someone who can.People get exactly the wrong idea about belief. They think it works back to front. They think the sequence is, first object, then belief. In fact, it works the other way.

~ Terry Pratchett

Polly?' Said Wazzer. 'Yes?''You don't believe in The Duchess, do you? I mean the real Duchess, not your inn.'Polly looked into the small, pinched, intense face. 'Well I mean, they say she's dead, and I prayed to her when I was small, but since you asked I don't exactly, um, believe as-' She gabbled.'She is standing just behind you. Just behind your right shoulder.'In the silence of the wood, Polly turned. 'I can't see her,' she said.'I am happy for you,' said Wazzer, handing her the empty mug.'But I didn't see anything,' said Polly.'No,' said Wazzer. 'But you turned around.

~ Terry Pratchett

Gods didn’t mind atheists, if they were deep, hot, fiery, atheists like Simony, who spend their whole life hating gods for not existing. That sort of atheism was a rock. It was nearly belief …

~ Terry Pratchett

Drought-struck farmers pray for rain, in the express hope that the universe or owner thereof will hear the words and suspense the laws of meteorology for their benefit. Some, of course, actually believe just that, and for all anyone can prove they could be right.

~ Terry Pratchett

Belief, he says. Belief shifts. People start out believing in the god and end up believing in the structure.

~ Terry Pratchett

Around the Godde there forms a Shelle of prayers and Ceremonies and Buildings and Priestes and Authority, until at Last the Godde Dies. Ande this maye notte be noticed.

~ Terry Pratchett

And Dil was realizing that there are few things that so shake belief as seeing, clearly and precisely, the object of that belief. Seeing, contrary to popular wisdom, isn’t believing. It’s where belief stops, because it isn’t needed anymore.

~ Terry Pratchett

He knew from experience that true and obvious ideas, such as the ineffable wisdom and judgment of the Great God Om, seemed so obscure to many people that you actually had to kill them before they saw the error of their ways...

~ Terry Pratchett

Susan hated Literature. She'd much prefer to read a good book.

~ Terry Pratchett

WORDS IN THE HEART CANNOT BE TAKEN.

~ Terry Pratchett

Lord Vetinari in a meeting: “what people said was what they wanted him to hear. He paid a lot of attention to the spaces outside the words, though. That’s where the things were that they hoped he didn’t know and didn’t want him to find out.

~ Terry Pratchett

A witch relied too much on words ever to go back on them.

~ Terry Pratchett

To animals they were just the weather, just part of everything. But humans arose and gave them names, just as people filled the starry sky with heroes and monsters, because this turned them into stories. And humans loved stories, because once you'd turned things into stories, you could change the stories.

~ Terry Pratchett

... a man needs no camel to ride to hell, yea, nor horse, nor mule; a man may ride into hell on his tongue...

~ Terry Pratchett

Words have power, you understand? It is in the nature of our universe. Our library itself distorts time and space on quite a grand scale. Well, when the Post Office started accumulating letters, it was storing words. In fact, what was being created was what we call a 'gevaisa', a tomb of living words.

~ Terry Pratchett