Irony Quotes

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,a medley of extemporanea,And love is a thing that can never go wrong,and I am Marie of Romania.

~ Dorothy Parker

There's nothing wrong with giving up all your principles for a suitable financial reward. It is indeed the basis of our society.

~ Manny Rayner

That will do extremely well, child. You have delighted us long enough. Let the other young ladies have time to exhibit.

~ Jane Austen

Don’t underestimate the value of irony—it is extremely valuable.

~ Henry James

I pound on the glass, screaming my head off. Everyone ignores me except for some Capitol attendant who appears behind me and offers me a beverage.

~ Suzanne Collins

The struggle for a free intelligence has always been a struggle between the ironic and the literal mind.

~ Christopher Hitchens

The prince of darkness is a gentleman!

~ William Shakespeare

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that individuality is the key to success.

~ Robert Orben

Christ has no body now on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours,Yours are the eyes through which to look out Christ's compassion to the worldYours are the feet with which he is to go about doing good;Yours are the hands with which he is to bless men now.

~ Teresa Of Ávila

Our world will not die as the result of the bomb, as the papers say, it will die of laughter, of banality, or making a joke of everything, and a lousy joke at that.

~ Carlos Ruiz Zafón

He had had much experience of physicians, and said 'the only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not'.

~ Mark Twain

You don’t need a plan. You have the Puck with you, remember? I’m an expert at this. And I’ve never needed an elaborate plan to pull anything off.”...“Worry not, human,” the cat sighed, giving himself a thorough shake. “I am going with you as well. With Goodfellow’s exemplary planning, someone has to make sure you go through the right door.

~ Julie Kagawa

I worked for Miss Margaret thirty-eight years. She had her a baby girl with the colic and the only thing that stopped the hurting was to hold her. So I made me a wrap. I tied her up on my waist, toted her around all day with me for a entire year. That baby like to break my back. Put ice packs on it ever night and still do. But I loved that girl. And I loved Miss Margaret.Miss Margaret always made me put my hair up in a rag, say she know coloreds don't wash their hair. Counted ever piece a silver after I done the polishing. When Miss Margaret die of the lady problems thirty years later, I go to the funeral. Her husband hug me, cry on my shoulder. When it's over, he give me a envelope. Inside a letter from Miss Margaret reading, 'Thank you. For making my baby stop hurting. I never forgot it.'Callie takes off her black-rimmed glasses, wipes her eyes.If any white lady reads my story, that's what I want them to know. Saying thank you, when you really mean it, when you remember what someone done for you-she shakes her head, stares down at the scratched table-it's so good.

~ Kathryn Stockett

I don't want to hurt anyone Laszlo fiddled with a button on his tux jacket. Can't we convince the CIA that some of us are peaceful? we'll have to try Angus folded his arms across his broad chest. And if they doona believe we're peaceful, then we'll have to kill the bastards. Roman frowned, somehow their Highlander logic escaped him.

~ Kerrelyn Sparks

I'm being ironic. Don't interrupt a man in the midst of being ironic, it's not polite. There!

~ Ray Bradbury

Maugham then offers the greatest advice anyone could give to a young author: At the end of an interrogation sentence, place a question mark. You'd be surprised how effective it can be.

~ Woody Allen

I must be overtired', Buttercup managed. 'The excitement and all.''Rest then', her mother cautioned. 'Terrible things can happen when you're overtired. I was overtired the night your father proposed.

~ William Goldman

Being a woman is worse than being a farmer there is so much harvesting and crop spraying to be done: legs to be waxed, underarms shaved, eyebrows plucked, feet pumiced, skin exfoliated and moisturised, spots cleansed, roots dyed, eyelashes tinted, nails filed, cellulite massaged, stomach muscles exercised.The whole performance is so highly tuned you only need to neglect it for a few days for the whole thing to go to seed. Sometimes I wonder what I would be like if left to revert to nature — with a full beard and handlebar moustache on each shin Dennis Healey eyebrows face a graveyard of dead skin cells spots erupting long curly fingernails like Struwelpeter blind as bat and stupid runt of species as no contact lenses flabby body flobbering around. Ugh ugh. Is it any wonder girls have no confidence?

~ Helen Fielding

He was one of the most supremely stupid men I have ever met. He taught me a great deal.

~ John Fowles

The things that don't happen to us that we'll never know didn't happen to us. The nonstories. The extra minute to find the briefcase that makes you late to the spot where a tractor trailer mauled another car instead of yours. The woman you didn't meet because she couldn't get a taxi to the party you had to leave early from. All of life is a series of nonstories if you look at it that way. We just don't know what they are.

~ Anita Shreve

When Maimonides says that the Messiah will come but that 'he may tarry,' we see the origin of every Jewish shrug from Spinoza to Woody Allen.

~ Christopher Hitchens

Ironic, isn’t it?” Shawn said.“It’s not ironic at all,” Gus said.“Dude, it’s so like a black fly in your chardonnay.”“How many times do I have to tell you that’s not ironic, either?”“Rain on your wedding day?”“‘Irony’ is the use of words to convey a meaning that’s opposite to their literal meaning,” Gus said. “That stupid song came out fourteen years ago, and we still have this exact conversation at least once a week.”“Yeah,” Shawn said. “Ironic, isn’t it?

~ William Rabkin

Irony has only emergency use. Carried over time it is the voice of the trapped who have come to enjoy their cage.

~ Lewis Hyde

Do you work for the government, any government?”I pay taxes, which means I work for the government, part of the time. Yes.

~ Roger Zelazny

Irony - The modern mode: either the devil’s mark or the snorkel of sanity.

~ Julian Barnes

Even You-Know-Who can't split himself into seven.

~ J.k. Rowling

Sometimes, you're the one who strikes it lucky. Sometimes, it's the other poor bastard who's left with the short straw, and you just have to shut up and get on with it.

~ M.l. Stedman

There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life -- happiness, freedom, and peace of mind -- are always attained by giving them to someone else.

~ Peyton C. March

to travel faster than a speeding bullet is not much help if you and it are heading straight towards each other

~ John Brunner

Who else but me is ever going to read these letters?

~ Anne Frank

We’ve known for a long time that it was no longer possible to overturn this world, nor reshape it, nor head off its dangerous headlong rush. There’s been only one possible resistance: to not take it seriously.

~ Milan Kundera

Jesus Christ was innocent too,' said Svejk, 'and all the same they crucified him. No one anywhere has ever worried about a man being innocent. Maul halten und weiter dienen ['Grin and bear it and get on with the job'] - as they used to tell us in the army. That's the best and finest thing of all.

~ Jaroslav Hašek

During the first day, curious at having outsiders among them, a long stream of inmates came over and talked with me. Remarkably, according to what they told me, nearly every inmate in the prison didn't do it. Several thousand people had been locked up unjustly and, by an incredible coincidence, all in the same prison.On the other hand, they knew an awful lot about how to knife somebody.

~ Alan Alda

I'm sick of the ignorance that lack of funding has generated, of the fathers who apporach me at dinner parties with their four-year-old girls clasped to their pant legs and say, Yeah, but studies say kids can buy drugs more easily than they can buy alcohol. To which I always respond, I guess that means you keep heroin in your liquor cabinet?

~ Koren Zailckas

The list could surely go on, and there is nothing more wonderful than a list, instrument of wondrous hypotyposis.

~ Umberto Eco

Ironic. I'm here because of my inherent dangerousness, but it's my inherent politeness that makes me put up with this. With him.

~ Sophie Jordan

In the State of Denmark there was the odor of decay...

~ Roger Zelazny

Irony cleans away all those secret stains. Irony is the path that leads safely back to official realities.

~ Geoffrey Wall

Irony serves as an alibi for a fetish.

~ Nathaniel Wing

And on the pedestal these words appear:
'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

~ Percy Bysshe Shelley