Just because you discover that you may like somebody after all, it doesn't necessarily mean there's any attraction.

~ Steve Kluger

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Communicating with the federal government is like talking to a computer that's crashing.

~ Steve Kluger

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Papa, I'm ashamed that you think women are so simple. We can make decisions for ourselves too, you know. I'm not a child or a baby anymore, so I'm allowed to speak my mind. And if you don't wish to hear it, just tell me so and I'll go into another room-but I'll speak it anyway. I want this for myself as much as I've never wanted the diplomatic corps and I'm going to get it-even if I have to do it alone. Excuse me.

~ Steve Kluger

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Augie: Does everybody else know?T.C.: About my epitaph?Augie: About me being gay, you gink-head hoser-face!T.C. Not everybody. There's a night watchman at a Dunkin Donuts just outside of Detroit. He doesn't know yet.

~ Steve Kluger

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