It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.
Because I was more often happy for other people, I got to spend more time being happy. And as I saw more light in everybody else, I seemed to have more myself. (250)
On No Work of WordsOn no work of words now for three lean months in the bloodyBelly of the rich year and the big purse of my bodyI bitterly take to task my poverty and craft:To take to give is all, return what is hungrily givenPuffing the pounds of manna up through the dew to heaven,The lovely gift of the gab bangs back on a blind shaft.To lift to leave from the treasures of man is pleasing deathThat will rake at last all currencies of the marked breathAnd count the taken, forsaken mysteries in a bad dark.To surrender now is to pay the expensive ogre twice.Ancient woods of my blood, dash down to the nut of the seasIf I take to burn or return this world which is each man's work.
Friendship- my definition- is built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don't have trust, the friendship will crumble.
Love never lives on a one-way street, for it will always come back up the road bigger than how we had sent it down the road.
THE UNFORGIVENTell me if you've ever had to deal with these kinds of people:The kind who take and don't give.The kind to whom you give and give,And they keep asking.The kind to whom you give and give and they say you gave nothing.The kind whom have never offered anything,But act like they're the ones providingEVERYTHING.The kind you give and give,But take more than you can give.And when they have already taken everything,They get mad at you when you say you haveNothing more to give.The unforgiving,The misgiving,Wastefully living -And selfishly driven.The rat that never gives back,Yet is so quick to attack -Because they think the wordTAKINGSeriously meansGIVING.
Focussing on Karma than on the lessons needed to be learned is setting a trap for what goes around comes around. Never wish for others what you will not wish for yourself. Do to others as you want done to you. That's what love is about!
Real sex is as much about reciprocity as it is exploration and if you need a reason to resent a man later on, just consider the guy who doesn’t believe in cunnilingus...
People relate giving to reciprocity. They expect things to be expressed in a way they can understand, which is usually their own.
What the devil is 'wordsharing'? Does the word for 'speak' mean 'listen' just as well? If I said, 'Listen to me!' you might talk, instead.What use is the one without the other? It took me a long time to see this distinction in Valan speech.Spinel thought over the list of 'share forms': learnsharing, worksharing, lovesharing. Do you say 'hitsharing,' too? If I hit a rock with a chisel, does the rock hit me?I would think so. Don't you feel it in your arm?He frowned and sought a better example; it was so obvious, it was impossible to explain. I've got it: if Beryl bears a child, does the child bear Beryl? That's ridiculous.A mother is born when her child comes.Or if I swim in the sea, does the sea swim in me?Does it not?Helplessly he thought, She can't be that crazy. Please, you do know the difference, don't you?Of course. What does it matter?
Perhaps the most legitimately dispiriting thing about reciprocal altruism is that it is a misnomer. Whereas with kin selection the goal of our genes is to actually help another organism, with reciprocal altruism the goal is that the organism be left under the impression that we've helped; the impression alone is enough to bring the reciprocation.
Our actions are like ships which we may watch set out to sea, and not know when or with what cargo they will return to port.
The rule of the people has the fairest name of all, equality (isonomia), and does none of the things that a monarch does. The lot determines offices, power is held accountable, and deliberation is conducted in public.
It's not equality that counts, it's reprocity that counts. Love is not like a balance sheet. There's no such thing as double-entry accounting when it comes to love.
Being culturally aware and respectful of others’ cultures will help you to keep the habit of making eye contact in context. As a matter of fact, in some parts of the world making eye contact can be construed as being exactly the opposite of what I am sharing in these pages. Making a great first impression is always about the specific environment and circumstance, isn’t it?
As we explore this valuable non-verbal language, please note that these principles do not apply in many cultures around the world. In some cultures, direct eye contact may offend, affront, violate, or threaten.
We've all been in the middle of a conversation and the person with whom we are speaking breaks eye contact, appears distracted, glazes over, or looks elsewhere. Their simple eye movement can quickly break down communications by making us feel ignored, dismissed, or rejected. For some, it may be accidental and unintentional, while for others, avoiding eye contact is on purpose.
Eye Contact Can Reveal if a Person is . . . •,Shy or gregarious•,Honest or deceitful•,Confident or terrified•,Interested or bored•,Patient or irritated•,Sincere or inauthentic•,Organized or Unprepared•,Attentive or distracted
12 Reasons Why People Avoid Eye Contact1. They do not want to reveal their feelings.2. They are not being honest and truthful.3. It makes them feel vulnerable and exposed.4. They are being rude or indifferent.5. They are ashamed or embarrassed to talk about something.6. They are nervous or lacking confidence.7. It makes them feel very uncomfortable.8. They are arrogant, snobby, and pretentious.9. They are afraid of saying the wrong thing or looking stupid.10. They are shy or introverted.11. They are accessing internal thoughts or emotions to process and contemplate information.12. Or as mentioned before, and important to remember, it may simply be a cultural value or behavior.
There are times when eye contact can move to the dark side and become creepy, hostile, rude, or condescending. When it is overused or made for the wrong reasons, eye contact can make others feel uncomfortable and leave a terrible impression . . . • obsessive staring• mocking• too much intensity • inappropriate focus• averting eyes• obvious contempt • gawking, ogling • casting the evil eye• over-watching• intimidating• unwelcome looks• rolling the eyes
As with most things in life, a healthy balance will keep us on the right path. To avoid too much eye contact or too little, seek to create a comfortable mix. It is generally encouraged to use more eye contact when you are listening and less when you are speaking.
When speakers make eye contact with an audience, they will be perceived as being more prepared, more competent, confident, and trustworthy. Eye contact helps to relax the speaker and reminds them that their audience is made up of separate individuals who perceive things differently. Audience response is clearly seen in the expressions of their eyes.
7 Ways to Improve Eye Contact at any Time1. Relax into the moment by smiling.2. Practice making eye contact with people you trust, so that when you are with strangers, it is easier to form a connection.3. When you feel uncomfortable, begin by looking at their mouth or forehead.4. Lean in and show that you are interested and attentive.5. Put a little space between you and the other person.6. Remember that the other person may be feeling just as awkward.7. Don’t give them a blank stare throughout a conversation. Rather, practice gazing down or to the side every few moments so that you appear relaxed.
Mirroring is a powerful neuro-linguistic programming technique that can be used to bond with others, build rapport, and reach mutual understanding more quickly. You may already be using it instinctively without even being aware.
Mirroring is simply the process of discreetly matching and mirroring the subtle behaviors and qualities of the person with whom you are connecting. It's a form of behavioral reflection that unconsciously reveals, We're more alike than we are different.
Mirroring is especially helpful when our differences may divide. Think of the times when you have made a diligent effort to speak in another person’s native language to communicate and connect with comfort. By doing this, you are extending a considerate courtesy to meet them where they are, thus removing barriers and improving engagement.
Coordinating your gestures with someone’s subtle behaviors, can help you gain understanding, realize comfortable compatibility, and develop mutual trust.
Why Does Mirroring Work? Scientific research suggests ‘mirroring’ techniques works because of the mirror-neurons which are fired in our brains when we both perceive and take action. When we observe someone doing something, we may feel as if we are having the same experience.
When you see someone smile, does it naturally make you want to smile back? When you are irritable, do you find that people mirror your irritability? When someone yawns around you, do automatically do the same? When you hear someone celebrating, do you feel inclined to join in and celebrate too? Your responses are not forced, but instinctual and empathetic.
Mirroring provides social cues through body language and behavior which enable us to develop more empathy and understanding for others.
Who are we the most comfortable with? People who are the most like us! The “Similarity-Attraction Hypothesis” (Newcomb, 1956) found that similar (real or perceived) personalities are a major determinant of our likability and friendship choices. It is simply human to gravitate toward people like us. This tribal inclination runs the gamut across demographics of age, ethnicity, culture, education, religion, and even personality style. Mirroring will enable you to find ways to create the comfort of familiarity through similarity.
Since we know people like to do business with people who are most like themselves, consider this: Excellent sales people understand that matching and mirroring another person’s body language is a powerful technique and subliminal way to develop trust, build rapport, and make their clients more comfortable and engaging. Subtly mirroring the postures, gestures, and body language of your client inspires a kinship of commonality.
Early in my sales career, various sales trainers taught our teams how to use matching and mirroring to build rapport and earn trust with our clients. When done well, it would inevitably help us improve customer service and closing ratios. It was not encouraged as a deceptive sales practice to manipulate, but rather a subtle way to make a great first impression and connect on a meaningful level.
By mirroring, speaking, and moving in tandem with my clients, I provided them with a sense of familiar comfort and ease which helped us work well together. When they leaned forward, I would lean forward. When they crossed their arms, I would cross my arms. When they began speaking slowly and quietly, I would do the same. These subtle actions help to us to communicate more effectively.
Becoming aware of what you are doing and how others perceive you will provide you with instant insight for making changes where necessary.
Whatever you are putting out into the universe is going to be returned unto you and have a direct correlation to what you are getting back. In many ways, you are a magnet and manifest accordingly.