“ I don’t think being a comedian gives you any fucking insight into what makes people laugh. ”
The Universe is very, very big.It also loves a paradox. For example, it has some extremely strict rules.Rule number one: Nothing lasts forever.Not you or your family or your house or your planet or the sun. It is an absolute rule. Therefore when someone says that their love will never die, it means that their love is not real, for everything that is real dies. Rule number two: Everything lasts forever.
~ Craig Ferguson
I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the truth. I know it isn’t fashionable.
People talk to old people like they're children.'Oh you're very old aren't you?' Yeah I'm old. I'm not stupid.
