Craig Ferguson said this quote

“ If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine. ”

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The Universe is very, very big.It also loves a paradox. For example, it has some extremely strict rules.Rule number one: Nothing lasts forever.Not you or your family or your house or your planet or the sun. It is an absolute rule. Therefore when someone says that their love will never die, it means that their love is not real, for everything that is real dies. Rule number two: Everything lasts forever.

~ Craig Ferguson

I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's.

~ Craig Ferguson

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the truth. I know it isn’t fashionable.

~ Craig Ferguson

People talk to old people like they're children.'Oh you're very old aren't you?' Yeah I'm old. I'm not stupid.

~ Craig Ferguson