Ellen Bass said this quote

“ You have the right to set ground rules. This means deciding if, when, and how you want to see the people in your family. Many survivors feel that if they open up the channels at all, they have to open them up all the way. When you were a child you had two options—to trust or not to trust. Your options are broader now. ”

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to love life, to love it evenwhen you have no stomach for itand everything you've held dearcrumbles like burnt paper in your hands,your throat filled with the silt of it.When grief sits with you, its tropical heatthickening the air, heavy as watermore fit for gills than lungs;when grief weights you like your own fleshonly more of it, an obesity of grief,you think, How can a body withstand this?Then you hold life like a facebetween your palms, a plain face,no charming smile, no violet eyes,and you say, yes, I will take youI will love you, again.

~ Ellen Bass

Ellen Bass Acceptance Hope Life Love

In spite of the horror, in spite of the tragedy, in spite of the weeks of sleepless nights, I'm finally alive. I'm not pretending. I feel real. I'm not playing charades anymore. I wouldn't go back to the way I was for anything. I'm really like a different person. I'm where I am, and I'm making the most of it. I know I'm courageous now. I found out I had it in me to face this. — Barbara

~ Ellen Bass

Ellen Bass Abuse Survivors Authentic Self Charades Child Abuse Survivor Child Abuse Survivors Deciding To Change Face Your Fears Feel Alive Gave Your Fears Choice Healing Healing Abuse Healing From Abuse Healing Journey Hope Hope And Disappointment New Me Real Self Recovery Recovery From Abuse Survivors True Self

So often survivors have had their experiences denied, trivialized, or distorted. Writing is an important avenue for healing because it gives you the opportunity to define your own reality. You can say: This did happen to me. It was that bad. It was the fault & responsibility of the adult. I was—and am—innocent.” The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass & Laura Davis

~ Ellen Bass

Ellen Bass Abuse Abusive Blame Child Abuse Childhood Abuse Courage Emotional Abuse Guilt Healing Innocence Lies Reality Recovery Relationships Responsibility Sexual Abuse Shame Survivor Victim

This choreography of ruin, the world breakinglike glass under a microscope,the way it doesn’t crack all at once,but spreads out from the damaged cavities.Still for a moment it all recedes.The backyard potatoes swell quietlyburied beneath their canopy of leaves.The wind rubs its hands through the trees.

~ Ellen Bass

Ellen Bass Nature Poetry Ruin