Jeff Kinney said this quote

“ I'm not really sure what makes a book a 'classic' to begin with, but I think it has to be at least fifty years old and some person or animal has to die at the end. ”

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I'll be famous one day, but for now I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons. - Greg Heffley

~ Jeff Kinney

There was this book Dad used to read to me every night called The Giving Tree. It was a really good book, but the back of it had a picture of the author, this guy named Shel Silverstein.But Shel Silverstein looks more like a burglar or a pirate than a guy who should be writing books for kids.Dad must have known that picture kind of freaked me out, because one night after I got out of bed, Dad said: IF YOU GET OUT OF BED AGAIN TONIGHT, YOU'LL PROBABLY RUN INTO SHEL SILVERSTEIN IN THE HALLWAY.That really did the trick, Ever since then, I STILL don't get out of bed at night, even if I really need to use the bathroom.

~ Jeff Kinney

Monkeys can't talk, stupid!

~ Jeff Kinney

Greg starts a middle school and asks: Whyis bullies such a big PROBLEM? And sayspeople need to shave twice a day.

~ Jeff Kinney