Sarah E. Olson said this quote

“ I spent most of my life believing lwas crazy because all the crazy things I experienced in childhood were treated as nonexistent or normal. This belief colored every decision made, from something so basic as what to wear today, to the more esoteric boundaries of whether I should kill myself. I understood very well that killing myself under the wrong circumstances would establish my insanity forever. So I analyzed every word, every gesture, before committing myself. (Which probably accounts for why I am alive today.) ”

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Being in a state of denial is auniversally human response tosituations which threaten tooverwhelm. People who were abusedas children sometimes carry theirdenial like precious cargo without aport of destination. It enabled us tosurvive our childhood experiences, and often we still live in survival mode decades beyond the actual abuse. We protect ourselves to excess because we learned abruptly and painfully that no one else would.

~ Sarah E. Olson

Sarah E. Olson Abuse Survivor Child Abuse Defense Defense Mechanism Denial Protection Psychology Repression Secret Secret History Self Protection Survival Survivor Trauma Traumatic Memories Traumatic Stress Victim

The reality is, no matter what you were told, whatever happened to you as a child was not legally or morally your fault. Abused children are instilled with guilt regarding their participation. It's an especially complex issue if the abuser is a family member. The child is told and believes that by his word his family will disintegrate, or harm may descend upon other loved ones. He fears he will lose more by telling than not.

~ Sarah E. Olson

Sarah E. Olson Blame Breakup Child Abuse Child Abuser Child Sexual Abuse Fear Guilt Lies Pedophile Self Blame Shame Silence Victim Blaming

We say, It wasn't that bad. It was all my fault. I’m making all this stuff up. All my life, I spoke bitterly of my mother's treatment of me as a child.Friends asked, “What did she do to you?“ I couldn't really describe it, and in frustration would say, “Well, she didn't lock us up in closets. in fact, my mother behaved much worse than that, but by focusing on the empty closet, I avoided looking at what waited beyond it.

~ Sarah E. Olson

Sarah E. Olson Amnesia Avoidance Betrayal Child Abuse Dissociative Amnesia Fear Hatred Mother Pedophile Protector Rage Repressed Memories Resentment

Nita: I think I overdid the vulnerability stuff in this last letter. and that’s why I’m having an anxiety attack.Howard: With the vulnerability comes the possibility that you’ll be betrayed. Now that you’ve laid yourself wide open, I am the agent of this betrayal? It’s not my style.Nita: I’ve thought it wasn't other people’s style, too.

~ Sarah E. Olson

Sarah E. Olson Abusive Relationships Betrayal Dissociative Identity Disorder Distrust Doubt Fear Mistrust Psychotherapy Relationship Problems Therapy Session Trust Issues Vulnerability Vulnerability Attachment Vulnerable