With emotional abuse, the insults, insinuations, criticism, and accusations slowly eat away at the victim’s self-esteem until he or she is incapable of judging a situation realistically. He or she may begin to believe that there is something wrong with them or even fear they are losing their mind. They have become so beaten down emotionally that they blame themselves for the abuse.

~ Beverly Engel

Beverly Engel Abuse Abusive Relationships Blame Emotional Abuse Judgement Losing Your Mind Mental Health Mind Self Blame Self Doubt Self Esteem Victim

Years ago I had realized I was blaming myself for it. People and doctors would tell me it wasn't my fault, but I couldn't “BELIEVE” it! Then I was talking to my friend Kieran and he explained to me in a way that I could PERCEIVE that I was not at fault. No one else could ever do that before, though many tried. Many, many people had tried to tell me it wasn't my fault, but I was convinced it was my fault because I was trying to cheer up my dad.

~ Robert Anthony

Robert Anthony Child Abuse Cognitive Distortions Core Beliefs Denial Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Psychology Ptsd Schema Self Blame

Janna knew - Rikki knew — and I knew, too — that becoming Dr Cameron West wouldn't make me feel a damn bit better about myself than I did about being Citizen West. Citizen West, Citizen Kane, Sugar Ray Robinson, Robinson Crusoe, Robinson miso, miso soup, black bean soup, black sticky soup, black sticky me. Yeah. Inside I was still a fetid and festering corpse covered in sticky blackness, still mired in putrid shame and scorching self-hatred. I could write an 86-page essay comparing the features of Borderline Personality Disorder with those of Dissociative Identity Disorder, but I barely knew what day it was, or even what month, never knew where the car was parked when Dusty would come out of the grocery store, couldn't look in the mirror for fear of what—or whom—I'd see. ~ Dr Cameron West describes living with DID whilst studying to be a psychologist.

~ Cameron West

Cameron West Abuse Abusive Parents Child Abuse Child Range Child Sexual Abuse Diagnosis Did Dissociation Dissociative Identity Disorder Incest Memory Mental Health Mental Health Stigma Mental Illness Multiple Personalities Multiple Personality Disorder Pedophiles Psychiatric Psychologist Psychology Self Blame Self Esteem Shame Split Personality Survivor Survivor Of Abuse Trauma

Of all the horrid ramifications of child abuse, the self-beliefs formed by the child reap the greatest destruction. Abuse is the most penetrating and permanent communication possible, and it always conveys to the child one or more of several messages: ‘I caused it to happen. It’s my fault because I am bad. I don’t deserve any better.

~ Heyward Bruce Ewart Iii

Heyward Bruce Ewart Iii Abuse Bad Child Abuse Core Beliefs Self Blame Self Esteem

We Are Lovable Even if the most important person in your world rejects you, you are still real, and you are still okay. —Codependent No More Do you ever find yourself thinking: How could anyone possibly love me? For many of us, this is a deeply ingrained belief that can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Thinking we are unlovable can sabotage our relationships with co-workers, friends, family members, and other loved ones. This belief can cause us to choose, or stay in, relationships that are less than we deserve because we don’t believe we deserve better. We may become desperate and cling as if a particular person was our last chance at love. We may become defensive and push people away. We may withdraw or constantly overreact. While growing up, many of us did not receive the unconditional love we deserved. Many of us were abandoned or neglected by important people in our life. We may have concluded that the reason we weren’t loved was because we were unlovable. Blaming ourselves is an understandable reaction, but an inappropriate one. If others couldn’t love us, or love us in ways that worked, that’s not our fault. In recovery, we’re learning to separate ourselves from the behavior of others. And we’re learning to take responsibility for our healing, regardless of the people around us. Just as we may have believed that we’re unlovable, we can become skilled at practicing the belief that we are lovable. This new belief will improve the quality of our relationships. It will improve our most important relationship: our relationship with our self. We will be able to let others love us and become open to the love and friendship we deserve. Today, help me be aware of and release any self-defeating beliefs I have about being unlovable. Help me begin, today, to tell myself that I am lovable. Help me practice this belief until it gets into my core and manifests itself in my relationships.

~ Melody Beattie

Melody Beattie Abandonment Beliefs Codependency Conditional Love Core Beliefs Isolation Lovable Love Neglect Relationships Self Blame Self Esteem

The undisciplined mind confuses misfortune with mistakes.

~ Mark Caney

Mark Caney Self Blame Suffering

Blame is a Defense Against PowerlessnessBetrayal trauma changes you. You have endured a life-altering shock, and are likely living with PTSD symptoms— hypervigilance, flashbacks and bewilderment—with broken trust, with the inability to cope with many situations, and with the complete shut down of parts of your mind, including your ability to focus and regulate your emotions.Nevertheless, if you are unable to recognize the higher purpose in your pain, to forgive and forget and move on, you clearly have chosen to be addicted to your pain and must enjoy playing the victim.And the worst is, we are only too ready to agree with this assessment! Trauma victims commonly blame themselves. Blaming oneself for the shame of being a victim is recognized by trauma specialists as a defense against the extreme powerlessness we feel in the wake of a traumatic event. Self-blame continues the illusion of control shock destroys, but prevents us from the necessary working through of the traumatic feelings and memories to heal and recover.

~ Sandra Lee Dennis

Sandra Lee Dennis Affect Affect Regulation Betrayal Betrayal Bond Betrayal Trauma Betrayal Trauma Theory Blame Control Emotional Health Emotions Higher Purpose Hypervigilance Illusion Memories Mental Health Mental Illness Out Of Control Posttraumatic Stress Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Powerlessness Ptsd Regulate Emotions Self Blame Shock Trauma Trauma Victims Traumatic Traumatic Experiences Traumatic Memories Traumatized Victim Blaming Victimhood Victimization Victims

The reality is, no matter what you were told, whatever happened to you as a child was not legally or morally your fault. Abused children are instilled with guilt regarding their participation. It's an especially complex issue if the abuser is a family member. The child is told and believes that by his word his family will disintegrate, or harm may descend upon other loved ones. He fears he will lose more by telling than not.

~ Sarah E. Olson

Sarah E. Olson Blame Breakup Child Abuse Child Abuser Child Sexual Abuse Fear Guilt Lies Pedophile Self Blame Shame Silence Victim Blaming

Slowly, I'm beginning to realise that what happened to me wasn't my fault, that I was taken advantage of by a group of vile, twisted men.

~ Girl A

Girl A Child Exploitation Child Sex Ring Child Sexual Abuse Child Sexual Abuse Survivor Child Sexual Exploitation Crime Distorted Blame Fault Girl A Paedophile Ring Pedophile Ring Ptsd Responsibility Rochdale Grooming Self Blame Sex Ring Sex Trafficking Shame Survivor Trafficking Trial Witness

Resiliency is the body's internal response to a stressful situation.

~ Asa Don Brown

Asa Don Brown Canada Capella University Laughter Responsibility Self Blame Shame Trauma Usa

I couldn’t trust my own emotions. Which emotional reactions were justified, if any? And which ones were tainted by the mental illness of BPD? I found myself fiercely guarding and limiting my emotional reactions, chastising myself for possible distortions and motivations. People who had known me years ago would barely recognize me now. I had become quiet and withdrawn in social settings, no longer the life of the party. After all, how could I know if my boisterous humor were spontaneous or just a borderline desire to be the center of attention? I could no longer trust any of my heart felt beliefs and opinions on politics, religion, or life. The debate queen had withered. I found myself looking at every single side of an issue unable to come to any conclusions for fear they might be tainted. My lifelong ability to be assertive had turned into a constant state of passivity.

~ Rachel Reiland

Rachel Reiland Borderline Borderline Personality Disorder Bpd Diagnosis Emotional Pain Mental Disorder Mental Illness Self Blame Self Doubt

One must consider that small children are virtually incapable of making much impact on their world. No matter what path taken as achild, survivors grow up believing they should have done something differently.Perhaps there is no greater form ofsurvivor guilt than “I didn't try to stop it. Or “I should have told. The legacy of a helpless, vulnerable, out-of-control, and humiliated child creates an adult who is generally tentative, insecure, and quite angry. The anger is not often expressed, however, as it is not safe to be angry with violent people. Confrontation and conflict are difficult for many survivors.

~ Sarah E. Olson

Sarah E. Olson Abuse History Angry Boundaries Boundary Issues Child Abuse Effects Child Abuse Survivors Conflict Confrontation Guilt Helped Humiliated Insecure Relationship Problems Self Blame Survivor Guilt Survivors Victim Blaming Vulnerable

You have to let it go. You can hold on to the hate and the love and even the bitterness, but you have to go of the blame. The blame is what's tearing you down, babe. -Sky

~ Colleen Hoover

Colleen Hoover Holder Self Blame Sky

Was it me? Was I too cold? Too inexperienced? Not pretty enough? Not good enough in bed? And when disloyal, seed-sowing scum buckets slept with other girls, why did women look inward to find fault in themselves?

~ Tarryn Fisher

Tarryn Fisher Broken Heart Self Blame

One of the reasons a survivor finds it so difficult to see herself as a victim is that she has been blamed repeatedly for the abuse: If you weren't such a whore, this wouldn't have to happen. Each time she is used and trashed, she becomes further convinced of her innate badness. She sees herself participating in forbidden sexual activity and may often get some sense of gratification from it even if she doesn't want to (it is, after all, a form of touch, and our bodies respond without the consent of our wills). This is seen as further proof that the abuse is her fault and well deserved. In her mind, she has become responsible for the actions of her abusers. She believes she is not a victim; she is a loathsome, despicable, worthless human being—if indeed she even qualifies as human. When the abuse has been sadistic in nature...these beliefs are futher entrenched.

~ Diane Mandt Langberg

Diane Mandt Langberg Abuse Survivors Child Abuse Child Sexual Abuse Child Sexual Abuse Survivor Child Sexual Abuse Survivors Complex Ptsd Complex Trauma Dehumanization Incest No Longer Human Self Blame Victim Blaming